Bedside Manor

This is the top of my bedside table.  I've dusted and straightened, but really this is a place that stays neat.  Mostly due to the larger space beneath it, but still it stays neat.  Let's start with The Holy Family that Zuzu gave me for Christmas one year.  Aslan is guarding The Holy Family.  A packet of Christmas cards that somehow took on the task of holding my glasses sits in the middle.  My fitbit is useful both waking and sleeping, and as it is Michigan in the winter, I have an electric blanket controller.  A picture of Kurt and I kissing in the limo on our wedding day is crowned by my crucifix.  Clutter to sleep by.  What's on your nightstand?

Until Epiphany

I hate hard deadlines.  I feel so flustered, and there is nothing in the year of family life with a harder deadline than Christmas.  You have to gather it all up, decorate it all up, and party it up before the 25 gets here.  When it's past midnight and I'm still wrapping, it feels as though only death has a firmer though unknown end point. I was chatting with a friend about Christmas work, when it occurred to me that I'm a Catholic now--a Catholic Christmas starts Christmas Eve and keeps right on going into early January.  My timeline suddenly felt generous.  I find that deadline extension comforting, even though I'll still need to get the presents wrapped and the fancy clothes organized by the day, I will have a luxurious amount of time to reflect on the meaning of the season and Christ's place in my life.
Sometimes preparing for death seems as crammed and crowded as Christmas.  We have so much to do, to be, to share, and things get behind.   My first priest said that Purgatory is an acknowledgement that we die with sin and that that must be cleaned away.  How comforting!  I'd hate to show up in the Lord's presence still dragging this crap along.  A chance to "shower and change into his righteousness" is just the thing.  Purgatory is a deadline extension. a chance to reflect on the meaning of life and Christ's place in it.

A Christmas to Dye For

Sometimes the holidays call for a dye job. It started with Mea's red velvet birthday cake which requires an entire bottle of food coloring. It was delicious, so then I wondered if you could make green velvet, and made a sheet cake version for our piano teacher. From there I digressed to sugar cookies, making Red Hot Hearts, Lemon Yellow Stars, Blue Almond Snowflakes, Green Peppermint Christmas Trees, the other flavors got their coloring from ingredients (Gingerbread Men, Chocolate Bears, and Vanilla Snowmen). Anyone have ideas for other flavors and colors?
Finally, it was time for my first Christmas Velvet Cake. I wanted something Dr. Seussian, so instead of splitting the layers I stacked four whole layers, alternating red and green. It was as delicious as it was cheerful. If you decide to try it use the America's Test Kitchen recipe.

A Massy Christmas

Until this year, I've hosted a family Christmas for all our family, both sides, for three days. Everyone but myself and our oldest are Protestant, so finding a way to go to mass without upsetting most of my guests wasn't possible. It was my first item in confession after Christmas, and I always felt sad. The importance of the calendar in the liturgy is one of my favorite things about my faith. It orchestrates us through all the highs and lows in a way that keeps us from taking Christ for granted.
This year it was time to try something new which means I'm free of all that cleaning, cooking, planning and shopping. Taking care of the eight of us feels so light and easy. Best of all my new freedom opens the door to Christ Mass. We've got our fancy clothes laid out. We're looking for a restaurant to cook our seven fishes. (Hallelujah!). We've got our plan in place, and I can't wait to go to mass. I want to know if it's as rich as Easter Vigil or simpler, with children in mind. Whatever it is Jesus will be there, guaranteed.

Santa Baby

I'm a collector. Nothing pleases me more than a complete set. If I let myself everything becomes a collection, which is why I've limited myself to books and cookie cutters--Comfort Grip Cookie Cutters. If I left it as unspecific as "cookie cutters," I'd have a room full of them. I thought I was doing pretty well, buying only the ones I liked not really expecting it all to add up to much, particularly not to rise in value. But they have.
I was searching for the Christmas stocking they offered last year. It was gone, out of stock, so I thought I'd give eBay a try. The price has certainly gone up from the four bucks I typically spend. As I explored eBay's offerings I found all kinds of great Comfort Grip Cookie Cutters I hadn't known existed going for as much as 80 bucks. Wow, is all I can say. I can also say while I'm not ready to spend 80 bucks to complete the set, I'm not letting any more cookie cutters slide. Who knows which one will be the kids college tuition? And Santa, if you're listening, I've got a list of the ones I'm missing. We could start with the Christmas Stocking.

Accepto Patronum

One of the great things about being human is the ability to plan and carry it out. Christmas is the best opportunity for that kind of thing, the only drawback being my tendency to over-plan. Lists have lists until only Santa's naughty and nice list is longer. Our everyday projects crash into Christmas requiring contingency plans. I get overwhelmed, but I'm slow to ask for help. This year I got told.
"Accept help or quit" wasn't the exact message, but it felt that way.
At first I was upset and quitting looked like the better option. As time went by I began to see how good and necessary the help really was. Long term I am certain that my kids will get good at doing their chores, but Christmas won't wait for that to happen. Christmas requires order, so when the elves showed up with buckets and pails and made the impossible possible we rejoiced. When the last few sparkly bits needed to be finished while a bunch of other things required attention it was such a relief to call my sister and ask for help. She has a gift for sparkly bits.
The lesson seems to be that expecto patronum isn't rude, and that accepto patronum is imperative. It has been a very happy holiday.

Sweet Treats

Christmas was good to me. Kurt started with the perfect pair of slippers--very hard to find for a woman who hates anything on her feet. He followed up with the Wii Fit, which is just right on the money. I am in need of a new gimic that's family friendly, and this fits the ticket. My mother bought me a very nice pen inscribed Truth Alone. It's sitting on the "BlueThing" I bought in highschool, some people have wondered what it was like. Finally Kurt told me to just go and buy my own set of the Chronicles of Narnia in hardback. I've wanted them for years. We're reading them aloud each night after dinner.

The best Christmas gift

Last year my husband gave me the best Christmas present ever--a giant creche. I've wanted one since I was five. My mother was playing some kind of elaborate guessing game about a gift she'd bought for under the tree. I couldn't follow, the only thing I could think of going under the tree was a creche. The more I thought I was right the more excited I got. Baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, it would be wonderful. She kept stressing how delicate the gift was and how important it would be for me to take good care of it. What a let down when it was just a jewelry box. She couldn't understand my disappointment. I couldn't understand how anyone wouldn't prefer a creche. Mom put creches in the same category as Santa Clause. A few years earlier we'd gone to the mall and I'd wondered who the guy with the beard was. My mother and I are just very different people.
Anywho, the first thing I bought for Mea's second Christmas was small, inexpensive creche she was free to play with. She rearranged those figurines for hours. It was highly satisfying to watch. Through the years the set has suffered greatly. No animals have their ears, a wiseman is missing his hand. The HolyFamily is doing OK, but everybody else has suffered for my children's faith. Two years ago we bought the Little People Nativity Set, but I don't like it as well. Last year, Sam's Club had a beautiful, gigantic nativity set, and I walked by it, and I walked by it, and I walked by it. Every time I'd stop for a good stare, then I'd check the price tag and I'd roll on. It was getting really close to Christmas day when I discovered they'd significantly reduced the price. I took a deep breath and rolled by again. When I got home I told Kurt about the price reduction. He thought it was decently priced. I decided it was too much. I could live without it. It wasn't that important, but it was.
Next shopping trip I expected that the set would be gone, and the wild happiness with which I found it still there made me take out my cell. Kurt didn't sound surprised. "Go ahead and get it. It'll be your Christmas present." I don't normally do things like that, but when I could imagine my grandchildren playing with it I realized it was more than an object it was a way to stir up our faith. Poor Kurt, it weighs a ton and we put it up on the bookcases so that it won't be damaged by the kids. I wouldn't change a thing. The reason for the season dominates our living room and that's the best gift we all could receive.

Netflix for the Holidays

Keeping Mum--This is rated R and deserves it, but don't let that stop the adults in your household from indulging in this witty play with the idea of Grace. It has no direct tie to Christmas, but it is so funny I can't keep mum about it. :)
Tsotsi--This would be a sophisticated albeit dark choice for an adult Christmas gathering. Not exactly It's a Wonderful Life, this meditation on redemption would inspire all kinds of interesting conversation.

Children of Heaven--This is a G rated film that children ought to see. Iranian siblings struggle to keep a lost pair of shoes from putting a further strain on an already struggling family. The ending is heartbreaking largely because of its innocence.
Babette's Feast--This is another meditation on Grace, a more conventional study than Keeping Mum, but equally interesting in its way.
Merry Christmas--Before my kids and I studied modern history I thought World War I was some kind of milder version of WWII. Now I think of it as the stupidest war in history. I'm not alone in that opinion, the soldiers in the trenches weren't all that infatuated with it either. This film celebrates the true story of the impromptu truce the soldiers themselves called on Christmas.

Hurtling Forward

At Christmas time seems to hurtle by. So many aspects of my life crash into each other and insist on being paid attention to. There is the practical aspect of collecting gifts, cleaning for company, menu-planning and other details of pulling off a successful family holiday. Then for me finding time to really appreciate the true meaning of Christmas by attending Mass, praying, reading inspirational stories (I love Frank McCourt's Angela and the Baby Jesus), watching old and new movies, and journaling, is non-negotiable. Otherwise Christmas becomes a holiday for children, and I am just the facilitator of their experience, but if I find the time to contemplate what happened there in Bethlehem, Christmas retains its magic. Extended family and all the complex issues that arise as one prepares to once again reenter your baptism of communal human relationships force themselves from the comfortable background noise of the nearly forgotten into the immediate foreground where they must be faced or be in your face.
Suddenly all of that has a time-table and has to be planned for or simply survived. My mother just had her 30th birthday ;) and we celebrated it on Saturday here at my house. Now we can focus on getting the tree, decorating, baking, advent activities, and all the rest of it. I find myself wishing that I could somehow squeeze extra time in somewhere. I miss the endless waiting of childhood. I wish the rocket of Christmas would either slow down or let me off, because real Christmas is eternal. Sometimes our celebration feels overwhelmingly temporal.

God Rest You, Merry Parents

Christmas is a wonderful time to create magic for children, and to teach them to appreciate the magic that comes on its own. We had such fun gathering together as a family and working through all the joys and struggles that family life presents. Our family is unusual in that my sister married my husband's brother. (Yes, that's legal and not just in Kentucky.) My sister claims responsibility for the whole thing since she's the one that prayed that she and I would still share the same last name as grown-ups. The result is that we can all gather together in one house, in-laws and out-laws alike. Our separate families are beginning to truly meld into one. Last year was wonderful but this year was even sweeter as we worked our way through Christmas Adam, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
Our faith journey was tentative this year, because everyone is working through our study of Catholicism. We attended the Presbyterians' church service as a reasonable compromise, but we both found it lacking the elements we were looking for. Our connection as a family to the larger body of the faithful has become complicated in ways we never expected but that are also invigorating. We are being stretched in our appreciation of doctrine, and our understanding of Christian practice. There were other moments of faith that were easy as an old pair of blue jeans. We read the Christmas story, dressed the kids up for a nativity play and sang every Christmas carol we know--and some we didn't.
There were all those other joys too. Christmas presents--thank you, Mary, for the frying pan and Mother for the satchel--cookies, and wonderful food. I must recommend the America's Test Kitchen Cookbook. I made everything from Crab Imperial to Candied Sweet Potato Casserole, and every dish turned out perfectly. We also enjoyed the Barefoot Contessa's, Penne with Five Cheeses. Sam's Club had all kinds of ready-made treats that we enjoyed such as Blackened Salmon, cheese, and Shrimp Scampi. My sister brought Grandmother's fudge. Mother brought her famous Christmas Wreath Bread, and Mom Vi baked us five different kinds of pie--bless you for the raspberry, mmmmmmm.
Throughout it all, the children grew up. They learned about sharing toys with cousins and siblings. They learned about giving up what is yours for the benefit of others. They learned the joy of giving--thanks guys for taking the kids to the Dollar Store. They learned about the Savior. They learned to be thankful for what they have and for what they are given. I was proud of all seven of them as they grew and worshiped and ate together. May they always be blessed with such happy hearts eager to do good.

Blowout

You know you've been baking when you blow out your oven mitt.

The annual Christmas card

An old college beau refused to begin to date seriously until I promised that we'd still be exchanging Christmas cards into the far future, no matter the outcome. I promised, and until this year I've kept that promise. I can't send him one this year since he didn't bother sending me a forwarding address, that's ok, he hasn't kept his end of the bargain in a decade now. I wish him well, and I thank him for getting me started on a tradition I most certainly wouldn't have started on my own.
It's a strange thing to try and distill a year of family life into a card and one page newsletter. I combine the philosophical essay and the all-out brag fest into one, hopefully, interesting jumble. This year was especially difficult because the year was a rather strange one and full of rather strange happenings. In the end I played it safe, and the letter is pretty indistinguishable from the year's previous--new clip art though.
I considered skipping this year, but I've come to rely on writing out those addresses. It's satisfying to come to the end and look at the large stack of Christmas cheer ready to keep the US Post Office busy for a couple days. The feeling of keeping in touch with people as diverse as my kindergarten teacher--Hi, Miss Briggs! and my old college boyfriend--Oops. Having such a variety of people that are worth a stamp is reassuring that the world really is the optimistic place I've always expected it to be.
I'm sorry if you didn't get your card this year. It would help if you kept up with the forwarding address.

Amelia Bedelia's Christmas

No, I'm not referring to the predictably enjoyable Christmas book in the Amelia Bedelia series, Merry Christmas, Amelia Bedelia. I am referring to my approach to personal relationships which says that people will forgive you for almost anything if you can make a good dessert. As I've already mentioned, I have been involved in a cookie baking frenzy. The unexpected side affect of all those cookies in the freezer is a confidence in my decisions as I plan Christmas activities, menus and gifts that I wouldn't ordinarily enjoy. Everything you need to know about life you really do learn in kindergarten.
Merry Christmas to my former preschool/kindergarten students by the way. I'd love to hear from any of you that might find me here in my little corner of the world-wide web.

Writing a letter to Santa

My husband told me to take today and go have fun. He said I'd been working way too hard, and I deserved a day off. I kissed his face and grabbed the car keys and headed out to the nicest mall in the area. It was wonderful. I finally broke down and bought The Joy of Cooking. I worked on my novel. I found a great top for our annual fancy date--on sale! I bought little doo-dads and stocking-stuffers. Then I saw The Nativity. If there'd been a guy at a table just outside the movie offering a DVD of what I'd just seen at some ridiculous price, I'd have bought. I haven't seen such a wonderful Bible movie ever. I apologize to fans of The Passion of the Christ but I didn't like that as much as I loved this. Take tissues.
Then I did a little more putzing to come back to the everyday world before driving and I saw a "write a letter to Santa" kit. It had cutesy stationary and envelopes boldly stating "no address required." And I remembered my father's letter to Santa.
My dad is one of those people who was born with faith, and as a child a lot of that faith was invested in Santa. He'd reached that age where believing in Santa can get a guy beat up, so his mother took him aside and gently filled him in. Dad wouldn't buy it. He told her she was wrong and that he'd prove it. He was going to write to Santa and ask him to bring something special just for his mommy so that she'd know that Santa was real. There was nothing more she could do but wait for the inevitable disillusionment Christmas day.
Christmas day came and all the packages were opened and everyone was enjoying their new toys when my dad saw a box that was still unopened. The shape was similar to the box his Pop Warner football pads had come in so Grandmother had Dad open it. When he did he erupted with "See, Mom. See. I told you Santa was real. I told you." There in the box was a beautiful bride doll for Grandmother just like Dad had asked. I have it in my hope chest, and to this day no one knows how it got there--except for Santa.
I've never had my kids write to Santa. I've presented Santa as a person to emulate, and we've watched the excellent video Nicholas, the Boy Who Became Santa, but I've never taught them that Santa brings their presents. Standing today looking at that goofy kit, I wondered if I kept them from a great faith building exercise. Maybe in my eagerness to keep the focus on Christ, I've missed an opportunity to let the children grow in faith on their level. Too late now for us, but maybe not for you.
Merry Christmas!

Stealing Ideas for Christmas

'Tis the season for catalogs, at least at my house. I prefer the internet and catalog shopping for gifts because with five kids it's much easier to sit in a quiet corner and find the perfect gift within budget then it is to go out to the stores and keep track of totals and balances. As a result my mailbox is very full this year. I thought I'd squeeze out some cheap and easy articles sharing my finds as the stack gains inches.

Domestications

This catalog is a good source of low cost linens and household niceties. I don't recommend it for items that require long term wear, but for seasonal items it's prices can't be beat. I'm thinking of making two investments in Christmas paraphenalia because our home becomes everyone's home over the holidays. I think it's important to create a real holiday feeling that makes this more than just a family gathering. My first potential investment is in a set of holiday china. The Christmas Charm set has caught my eye not only for it's simple beauty, but also for it's reasonable price. Continuing the "Home for Christmas" theme I'd like to start collecting special blankets and sheets for Christmas time. Our little family moves out of the bedrooms and into the basement, so that each nuclear family visiting can have its own room. I'd really like for them to be sleeping under something other than purple butterflies and pink daisies. I think Christmas linens would make for a more "guest room" ambience. There are many versions at Domestications. My favorites are here andhere.

Gooseberry Patch

This catalog has a hand drawn coziness that is wonderful for stirring ideas. While I devour this catalog cover to cover, I have yet to place an order. This year they might finally persuade me though nothing has leapt out at me yet. My favorite idea to steal are these Santa's Little Helper Aprons. All seven children get in the act baking pies on Christmas Adam. My mother-in-law is the family pie expert and she does such a lovely job teaching the kids about pies. I'd love to deck out her little helpers in official helper gear. I'm thinking some green felt and some basic chef's aprons from Sam's Club might be just the ticket. Gooseberry Patch also do a great job suggesting overall themes and offering items to support the themes. My favorite one for this year is their Gingerbread Men. I think that might be just the idea for pulling together Christmas Eve, but Christmas Eve is still brewing away. Finally, I think my family might appreciate a barometer of how I'm handling all this Christmas stress. This apron might be just what they are looking for. :)

Best To You

Best To You has done better for me in the past. I used to find just the right Christmas card and such here, but this year I was just unimpressed. The designs feel rather dated for the most part. The best item of Christmas decor I found was a gilded crown of thorns for the tree top, but it seems they are currently sold out. There was a nice outdoor creche that scratches a long term itch, but I think we'll stick with our light up version for now. The best idea for stealing is the Jesus' stocking ornament. They are out of stock, but that's just fine. I thought their version was rather undersized. I'd like to create a larger version, and begin working on ways to incorporate giving to Jesus into our family's Christmas celebration for everyone. Perhaps we could offer up parts of ourselves we have been holding back, or if that's too abstract for the little ones, maybe we could do something in conjunction with The Most Important Catalog in the World (more about that later). I'd like to see each member of the family set something specific aside as a present for Jesus on his birthday.

The Vermont Country Store

This is my goto catalog for nostalgia gifts. There's always something to make the boomer generation ooh and ahh. While I'm unlikely to purchase a classic tinsel tree I might invest in some old fashioned hard candy that I'm a little too lazy to make. I fell in love with their Mrs. Claus granny gown with matching cap. I still enjoy dress up, and it'd make for cute pictures Christmas morning.

Lillian Vernon

I've spotted a few things for little gifts, so I'll have to be discreet. Let's just say there are lots of items that can be personalized. Definetly worth a look.

Sam's Club Membership Matters

Not to brag, but at my Sam's they just wave me in. I'm there every week, and so I get their catalog. I was very impressed with how many great ideas they had. The most important one I'm planning to steal is decorating the tree with photographs. Last year we all brought special ornaments from our various family trees and created a joint tree. I think this year I'll have everyone bring Christmas pictures from the present and the past. We'll scan them, print them, mount them on red card stock and decorate the tree. Then we can burn all the shared photos to CD so that everyone leaves with a digital photo album that includes special memories of all of us. Yep, Kurt will be in charge of the technical stuff. They had terrific cheese guide that I'll be relying on since fancy cheese isn't on our ordinary menu. I'm thinking that a cheese plate might be a nice foil for all those pies Grandma Vi and her seven helpers will be baking.

Well, I suppose that's more than enough for now. Happy planning!

Christmas Plans

Christmas is coming. I am not one of those people who gripes about Christmas displays in July. I like to plan for Christmas all year round. Christmas and Easter offer times to really immerse yourself in the miracle of God's personal love and attention. It is a powerful opportunity to make every moment a moment of worship and service. I love rituals and I tend to turn any successful idea into a ritual, as a result we have a lot of ready-made Christmas joy to draw on. I'll certainly be looking to select a theme and personalize this particular Christmas, but here are some of the rituals we use to make each Christmas part of the eternal Christmas.
Christmas Adam The day before Christmas Eve is a day of cleaning and preparation. We let go of all the normal concerns that fill up our days and instead focus on the coming blessings. I like to think of it as serving the same kind of purpose the cleaning of leaven out of Jewish homes during the Passover Celebration serves. Our home is transformed into a holy space where God can meet us and bless our time together.
Christmas Eve Boxes A few years ago I bought a set of nesting boxes with a Christmas print on them. We use them to keep the kids busy and on track on Christmas Eve. We start in the morning with something related to breakfast. We've had McDonald's gift certificates, muffin mix and a coupon from Pop-pop for french toast. Then we take care of getting ready for the day with some new toothbrushes and flavored dental floss. The next box is usually a craft that they can make to give to grandparents, and other guests, or that focuses attention on the real meaning of Christmas. Then there is a ticket to lunch or a baking class. We usually have a new Christmas video to watch in one of them. Last year, I made costumes for all the kids and we put together a Christmas play. Toward the end the box becomes about the Christmas story and our family tradition of singing carols and telling family stories about Christmas' past. The last box is always pajamas and bubble bath. I try to sneak a little something in that is surprising. One year I bought PJ's for everyone in the family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, it was fun. Another year I bought Build-A-Bear PJ's for the children's special dolls. The boxes organize the day, and are great for emphasizing the really important things and taking the focus off of the presents.
The Annual Christmas Ornament Every year we purchase a Hallmark ornament for each child and for ourselves as a couple. When it is time to decorate the tree we gather around and line up everyone's ornaments. We go through each year remembering what our family was like "way back when" and rejoicing over each addition as the first ornament for each child comes up in the story. When the children leave the nest, we'll pack up their ornaments and send them off to start making their own families and memories. That thought makes me happy and sad. I hope for at least one or two Christmas' futures we have them bring their old ornaments and the new ones that they've bought for their children so that we can go through the whole gigantic story of us as it is then.
Happy planning, and may your Christmas be truly blessed with the presence of Christ.