Hurtling Forward

At Christmas time seems to hurtle by. So many aspects of my life crash into each other and insist on being paid attention to. There is the practical aspect of collecting gifts, cleaning for company, menu-planning and other details of pulling off a successful family holiday. Then for me finding time to really appreciate the true meaning of Christmas by attending Mass, praying, reading inspirational stories (I love Frank McCourt's Angela and the Baby Jesus), watching old and new movies, and journaling, is non-negotiable. Otherwise Christmas becomes a holiday for children, and I am just the facilitator of their experience, but if I find the time to contemplate what happened there in Bethlehem, Christmas retains its magic. Extended family and all the complex issues that arise as one prepares to once again reenter your baptism of communal human relationships force themselves from the comfortable background noise of the nearly forgotten into the immediate foreground where they must be faced or be in your face.
Suddenly all of that has a time-table and has to be planned for or simply survived. My mother just had her 30th birthday ;) and we celebrated it on Saturday here at my house. Now we can focus on getting the tree, decorating, baking, advent activities, and all the rest of it. I find myself wishing that I could somehow squeeze extra time in somewhere. I miss the endless waiting of childhood. I wish the rocket of Christmas would either slow down or let me off, because real Christmas is eternal. Sometimes our celebration feels overwhelmingly temporal.