Writer's Chair Views

Left

Center

Right

Out of Body

One of the greatest blessings in our new home is a sanctuary where I can read and write and think and talk and work and pray. It's tucked in over the garage and chopped into two rooms. The coziest room, where I imagine talking with friends over tea and indulging my appreciation for squishy furniture when I'm working, is toward the front of the house. I love being there with or without guests, but I'm all set up with tea and cookies should someone special drop by.

Winded

On my aerobics videos they always give the advice that you should be able to talk or sing while you exercise. This blog has been me singing while I do my Taste of Redwall workout. 

Exactly.

slow lane

When I was younger my mind leapt from project to project, belief to belief, book to book. These days I choose my projects with great care, making certain my slower brain can keep up and that the results will be worth the efforts. I still go in a round between ideas. I don't know how to focus on a single idea successfully for more than a few hours. Currently the neediest ideas are A Taste of Redwall, Crowhook classes, the new-to-me parts of the Bible, The Only Necessary Thing by Henri Nouwen, and my novel. 

The irony is I am much more certain about what I believe now. In the early days I was trying to force sense on ideas that simply didn't hold up upon deeper examination. I believed things I could not make sense of as an act of faith because emotionally and intellectually I'd never had the freedom to follow my conscience and my understanding. I have not found my new freedom any impediment to believing in and obeying Christ.

A Private Place

Lately there has been a change in how I write. I've started to sink into the work forgetting everything else. (Strange how I can do that at Barnes and Noble and I can't do it at home.) I've quit caring that the manuscript is so long and getting longer. I want to have my say. I walk into my mind palace and forget reality for three or four hours. I think that this is producing better writing, but I'm not sure. I'll find out this summer when I rejoin my writer's group.

Wonder Land

I'm beginning to realize that I'm working through the weird world of childhood in fiction.  I'm starting to let myself read my work as if it was someone else's. For example, I realized an Alice in Wonderland playhouse symbolizes my struggle to get help with or at least permission to interpret the Bible from the adults in my life.  The only book that was as weird as the Bible that I was allowed to read was Alice in Wonderland.  I worked rather hard trying to get the two to illuminate each other without much success.  The playhouse has always been there in my novel, but it was only recently that I saw the connection.

What a fascinating way to squint at your mind sideways, but I'd better not look too hard.  I'll never have the courage to publish anything.

Now Serving Number One

Today is the first anniversary of my collaborative blog, The Shepherd's fish.  When I started it I hoped to reconnect with friends and to get better at blogging .  Both wishes have been granted.  As we have opened our lives to each other, we have found support and courage, facing together the trials of our lives.  We've also found humor, kindness, and a broader perspective on the work of God in the world.  We've talked about everything from runaway dogs to runaway kids and laughed and cried at both of them.  I'm so thankful to God for this godly gaggle and the way they've used this new strength to reach out and grow, touching other lives.  It's a beautiful ripple as we leap up to praise our Shepherd.

 I've been learning how to listen to Jesus, and this time I think I got it right.  The result has done good and brought new strength instead of new stress.  I am glad I obeyed.  The more I test the work in my life in this way, the more I realize how important it is to be sure my service is not for anyone else but Christ for his yoke is easy and his burden is light.

Hanging Up My Straight Jacket

There are things I've committed to doing in order to break free from the internal prison of fundamentalism.  

1.  I reserve my primary energy for my kids.

2.  I write both for my novel and for my personal blog.

3.  I take my friends wherever I find them.  I don't check ID, political affiliation, or theological preferences anymore.

4.  I make time and means for growing in my relationships, most importantly with my husband, but also on Shepherd's fish and in my local 3D life.

5.  I work on projects to make the world better, currently raising funds for St. Martin DePorres Orphanage in Tanzania.

6.  I read the Great Books for my own enrichment and to teach at the Homeschool Cooperative.

7.  Last but most important, I grow in my Catholic faith.

The Shepherd's fish

Getting The Shepherd's fish started was such a whirlwind that I neglected to mention it until now.  I'm working with seven friends all of us sharing our faith journeys.  I had high hopes for the blog when it started because I know my friends and how wise, loving and funny they are.  The reality surpasses my hopes every day.  Things I never knew about them, wisdom and rebuke, hope and poetry, The Shepherd's fish has it all.  Do what I do.  I roll out of bed, say my prayers and then check to see what's new.  You'll be glad you did.

A Moment's Peace

We park right by this little table every day, but I didn't notice it until now.  It's just the sort of place where I like to work.  The cicadas are in full song, and light has grown dim.  This is the kind of moment you always hope for, but find it hard to arrange.  We made it to the beach.  Jimmy had his super glue, his band aids and his water shoes, and at first he was too wrapped up in his sand castle to go in the water.  The siren song caught his ear at last and his daddy took him out on his hip.  He seemed to be fine, but after a few minutes at home his wound was open again.  He'll be staying home and taking it easy away from the beach from now on.  In a show of solidarity all the young ones and menfolk went to see Monsters Inc 2.  We women went out, shopping the stores downtown, and made a brief stop at Barnes and Noble.  My idea journal has disappeared and I needed to replace it.  I don't know if I'll be able to recreate all the ideas I had for three different novels, poetry, and blogs, but I have to try.  It might have to wait for home where I can find a moment's peace.

For now it's a comfort to know we are all working together to help Jimmy.  Sometimes the best peace is in a crowded living room watching mind-numbing cartoons with a foot in your lap.

Girl's Preparatory School

This current stretch of Harriet is so dry and full of disappointments, that I'm having trouble giving it life and movement.  Fortunately I had the good sense to enroll Harriet in Chattanooga's famous Girl's Preparatory School.  It comes with tons of ready made life, and thanks to a research trip and the school's generosity I'm painting in the much needed details to ease the struggle to read about Harriet's unmooring depression.  

It's making it easier to write about it too.  So far I've discovered that there was both a Harriet and a Lucy in the class of 1964, and that they shared interests with my Harriet and Lucy.  When I can't stand how sad it's getting I reach for that annual, and something perks things up, if only for me.

Briar Patch

Retreat! The drooling starts with a picture of a bed and a desk in a room, for me to enjoy all by myself. Usually it takes a full nervous breakdown for me to have that kind of luxurious privacy. It continues with various reminders that this is a quiet experience. Have I mentioned my six kids? Then there is all the property to explore, and the places for contemplation. St. Lazare's is located on the outskirts of the village where I live. Our motto is "Where nature smiles for seven miles." I'm looking forward to some nature. Free time to read and pray and write alternates various opportunities for worship, and I need to worship, especially in my quiet, introverted way. There will even be confession which is a great tune up right before Easter.
Lots of Jesus, lots of time to get back in step, this is the way it should be, and I don't have to be Brer Rabbit to know it.

My Personal Fab Five

Everybody needs good advice from their friends.  These literary figures have long been my good friends, so much so that I call them Aunt or Uncle depending.  These are not my favorite saints.  That's a whole different thing.  This is more about camaraderie than hero worship, though I'll admit to a little hero worship.

Tante Corrie (Ten Boom)
The consequences for her sympathy for others are horrific, but no matter how much else she lost, she never lost this basic instinct of caring for others in trouble.  I want to be as brave and forgiving as she was.

 Auntie Jane (Austen)
She pushed herself to write for publication, but never lost her own voice.  I want to be published.

Aunt Flan(nery O'Connor)
She woke me up and made writing seem like something worth doing.  I never understood what redemption meant until The Violent Bear It Away.  Now I can't stop looking at it--through parted fingers, but still.

Uncle Jack (C. S. Lewis)
His tape started running in my head when Dad started reading me The Chronicles of Narnia at two and finally left off reading me Lewis with That Hideous Strength when I was off to get married at twenty-three.  I marvel at how he shapes my mind, down to a fascination with medieval literature.  I hope to learn his kindness.

Uncle Frebby (Frederick Buechner)
He is my only living model, which was quite a comfort when I was lonely.  He is so patient with his faults and honest about discussing them.  I grew up in a world where flaws were hidden or everyone was too intimidated to state the obvious.  I want to be that genuine. 

A Package of Crayons

I love connecting people with each other or with useful stuff.  I have an internal list of things I'm looking for and it makes my life feel like a scavenger hunt.  Carol Bennett made my list when she described dashing out of the shower to write down an idea.  She'd been out of the market for children's tub toys for a while, so she was surprised to hear that such things as tub crayons and markers existed.  Ever since I've been looking for the crayons at the right time and price and tonight I found them, there's only one problem , Carol is gone.  

Cancer took her away.  The last time I saw her she seemed to be beating it handily, but then along came an email from Pat, the West Michigan Writer's Workshop Goodwill Ambassador, with the news that cancer had suddenly won.  I don't do death very well, so I've been struggling with this loss of a friend who wasn't close but still mattered.  

Tonight though as I think about the crayons, I'm realizing that I need to go back and get those crayons and park them in my shower.  It's the thing she taught me--to value inspiration, to get it down, before she's gone.

Courses I Have Loved

The Great Courses from The Teaching Company were something I let sit on my radar for far too long.  If you like to learn new things, this is the company for you.  As a homeschool parent, this is a source of grade A information without the grade A strain.  My first purchase, like most things, was for the kids, but now I've collected a good number of courses that were just for me.
They are so good I usually watch or listen to them more than once.  Here are some of the courses I got for me.
Building Great Sentences ****This  course was a bit of a stretch as my preferred writing style is to cut everything down rather than build up.  I'm finding it challenging and handy to do it another way.
Optimizing Brain Fitness ****I like the way Professor Restak uses all the tricks to enhance how much we retain of his lectures.  This is a short course, but very helpful.
Effective Communication Skills *****This course is the first one Kurt bought for himself.  It's been amazing what we've learned and all the ways that the information can be applied.
How to Read and Understand Poetry*****I bought this on audio because the sale price was that good.  I've listened to it twice so far.  The professor's sense of humor keeps this course interesting and moving along.
From Plato to Post-modernism *****Filled in a lot of holes in my education as well as sparking real interest in the subject.  I read Hegel on the strength of one lecture.  Wonderful class on Literary Criticism
Reason and Faith:  Philosophy in the Middle Ages *****The illustrations in this class are so helpful and stay with you when you encounter the material in other settings.  Beautiful, just the right size for getting into the subject without going in over your head.
The Life and Writings of C.S. Lewis *** I think it would have been better if I hadn't cut my teeth on all things Lewis, literally, Dad read me Narnia when I was a toddler.  I'd outgrown this course before I took it.
The Great Ideas of Philosophy, 2nd Edition *****Excellent for recreational viewing and as a reference work.  Dr. Robinson is exactly what you want in a philosophy professor, charming, knowledgeable, and certain without being assertive.
Great Authors of the Western Literary Tradition ***** Excellent team teaching effort.  I loved each section and hated moving on to the next.  These professors care so much that their subjects can still move them to tears.  Great overview and sampler if you're looking for some new reading material.

Thank You, James.

I am trying to read all the Great Books, plus Eastern books of similar intent and wisdom.  It's a daunting task, especially for some one who even her hobbies are other kinds of work.  A few years ago, I had nearly given up and then Jimmy finished potty training and  personal space and time began trickling back to me.  I still can't seem to get more than fifteen minutes in a row to read, but before it was ten.  Every step he takes toward independence sets me free.  I've been looking at the sad side for far too long, but it's time to look at the new hope.  Someday I will have all the time in the world to linger over books, and man, am I looking forward to it.

Desk Love

I keep trying to create a working office, and until now they've at best partially succeeded.  I needed to separate homeschooling from my other work, and that meant learning to value my other work.  After a lot of soul searching I decided I needed an adult desk where I could get things done, problem was, we had no budget.  Lucky for me, my parents have a furniture surplus at the moment and their giant pain was my giant gift.  It fits so perfectly upstairs in our bedroom that a quarter of an inch would have meant it would have had to wander the house like my other desk options.  Instead it is nestled in-between two well-stocked bookcases.  The chair was on clearance at Sam's Club and just allows me enough room to get to bed.

The desk top is huge!  I can park a filing tray and my blue thing on the left.  My backpack now has designated parking on the right.  The back has a tool caddy, a lamp and miscellaneous useful knick-knacks, especially the first owl in my new collection. 

Perfect fit is almost a theme.  I found these organizers for my pencil drawer at Staples and they are literally perfect, not a wasted centimeter.  The top right side drawer has materials for my primary project--Harriet, a.k.a. my novel.  The bottom right side drawer has storage for large materials, a filing box and two shoe boxes of useful items.

On the left, I've started with supplies in the top drawer.  My second drawer holds materials for my secondary project--A Rule of Life, a homeschool co-op class on medieval monasticism.  The bottom drawer has my stationary.

Behind the black out curtains, we have a deep window sill, perfect for these large filing boxes.  I don't have that much filing--yet.

 These were another Sam's Club find.  I'll still resort to my giant white board in the basement, but I think this is going to be a great place to do the detail work on Harriet, the characters and the world.  I hope to incorporate 3x5 cards on the bulletin board.  If it turns out I need more of one or the other I can flip the boards and change the configuration.

Sometimes the material world is quite useful to the spiritual, at least I hope that will be so.  Everything is perfect at the moment.

 

Ice Fishing in July

I keep thinking about shutting down this blog. Almost nobody reads it, and I have so much else to do. However, it still serves it's purpose which is to help me overcome my fear of being read.  In my world growing up if you said the wrong thing, that was it, you were out, and your little dog too.  I say all kinds of things, and still almost nobody reads it.  The reassuring monotony is valuable to me.  
Perhaps someday I'll relaunch with flashy items and a site redesign, but for now it's enough to say whatever's on my mind and watch the daily visits climb to ten.  Keeps the well open.

...starts to come together

I enter my second year of the forties this year, and I have to say I'm liking the forties.  All those things I daydreamed about having in the future when I was a teen, and then labored (in six cases literally) to make real in my twenties and thirties are real.  My handsome husband comes home from work and kisses me hello.  Six kids have completely overrun this house, just the way I imagined they would.  The must haves are had.
That's really great, but I'd be struggling if the forties weren't also a pivot point--a moment of transferred momentum.  Somewhere I came across a study that said a woman's career doesn't really take off until her forties, so I decided to strike while the eggs were fresh and make a family, trusting that when it was time to refocus on my career I'd be choosing a strong starting point.  This decade is not just about saying goodbye to my wonderful kids, it's also about becoming a published writer.   I have a lot to do, and I'm excited about it.
Happy Birthday to me!  I love it.

Pilgrimage of Desire

I had the privilege of meeting Alison Gresik at the Festival of Faith and Writing.  I was immediately intrigued by her perspective and by her work.  I'm still interested, which is, I think, one of the best things you can say about someone.  Alison's current project is publishing a memoir through Indiegogo.  Indiegogo is interesting all on it's own, but when you add to that the story of a family recovering from depression by selling their home and using the money to travel the world it becomes irresistable.  Throw into the mix two charming children. and you have movie popcorn with chocolate chips sprinkled in.  To take a look or to support her efforts visit this link--http://www.indiegogo.com/Pilgrimage-of-Desire

My Life in Apps

I have made no secret of my love for my iPad.  I am not exaggerating when I say my life is changed because of this machine.  I don't know how I'd go back to life without it.  Here is a glimpse of my life as I live it now thanks to all those great apps.

Reminders--I had to have a place to dump all those tasks that need to be done, but not tomorrow.  I may never get the piano tuned, but I'll think about it every time I open this app.
 iPlan Lessons-  teachers book for homeschoolers.
Pepper Plate--favorite recipes, menu plans and instant shopping lists
Pages--holds most of my novel, my poetry, a class on medieval monasticism for co-op and other stuff I want to hang on to.
Storyist--As soon as I finish typing my first draft up, I'll be breaking this program out to play with the next draft.
Meta Notebook--where I stash my notes on the books I'm reading.
ChorePad--keep track of chores and allowance
Cash Flow--keeping track of kids money from work and gifts
Nature Sounds--takes me home quick with my own brew of sounds.  The loon could be better.
Pocket Yoga--best way to learn yoga I've found
Livestrong Calorie Counter--make a difference for me.  I love to fill out charts and these charts put me on the right path.
My Food--it's pretty and it makes me think about what I'm eating.
Notes--I have sixteen.  They range from medical procedures to poems in process to addresses.  I dump everything here.
Divine Office--fills the day with scripture, songs and prayers
iMissal--up-to-date with the latest changes.  Just figured that out.
Prayers--lots of prayers including rosaries.  Great way to fill empty time.
Prayer Journal--more Protestant way of recording what you're praying for and how often.
MeaCulpa--so helpful to the convert.  You work through scrutinies and the results are packaged neatly with all the prayers and such for Reconcilliation.
Facebook--The news I really care about.  "Go, Ian!  Eat those crackers!"
Sam's Club--shopping list and evalues in a fun setting.
ABC News--what else is going on in the world
Magical Weather--charming
Flixster--if you love movies as much as I do this is a must.
Terra Nova--Please don't let it be dead.
ABC Player--when I need a little down time.
Presidents vs. Aliens--too much fun.

The only thing I can't do easily--work on my blog.  Ironic.
That's it.  My life on an iPad.