Worn out

My birthday comes on the first day of summer. It's always made me feel special. To me, growing older means becoming more precious, because I loved my elders so much. My parents gave me my grandmother's Bible this year. It is crammed full of her personality and faith. Like the sword of all good Baptists, it is falling apart. 

I had all four grandparents and my great-grandmother until my final semester of college when I lost my grandfather and continuing until my first baby was born--a span of four years. I needed the powerful ups of college graduation, marriage, and pregnancy to counter such powerful downs. Mea was my greatest comfort after all that loss. Slowly the wheels are turning again as my beloved children start leaving me to create lives of their own. 

I've begun pouring my life into books, because that is my personality. The Bible will always be primary, but I was designed to study. I look forward to showing my grandchildren how many books I've worn out. I hope that they will wear out many of their own, because that is my faith.

Baptized

I love hymns. There is so much meat in them. For about a minute and a half praise bands were reinterpreting the old gems and doing it very well. I was surprised at the cross over into Catholic singing. Even "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" written by the original Protestant Martin Luther, makes itself at home. Of course there were many songs I didn't know, and they would catch me off-guard. "I Have Loved You," "You Are Mine," "Eye Has Not Seen," and "On Eagle's Wings," had me crying. I ordered a hymnal with my new hymns, but it was a different edition from the ones at church.

Recently, they replaced the hymnals with very nice purple ones, and I wondered what happened to the old ones. I didn't have time to pursue it. Our house needed a clean out and the bags of donate goods filled the back of the van. I had to get rid of them before I could shop at Sam's, so I dropped in at a nearby thrift store. I've been collecting copies of the books for next year's medieval lit class, so I hunted through the bookshelves. There didn't seem to be much until I spotted the familiar red spine. Gold letters on the front cover, it called out to me. Joyfully, I brought it home.

Now it is the queen of my collection, and a great source for new music and ideas. Thanks be to God.

slow lane

When I was younger my mind leapt from project to project, belief to belief, book to book. These days I choose my projects with great care, making certain my slower brain can keep up and that the results will be worth the efforts. I still go in a round between ideas. I don't know how to focus on a single idea successfully for more than a few hours. Currently the neediest ideas are A Taste of Redwall, Crowhook classes, the new-to-me parts of the Bible, The Only Necessary Thing by Henri Nouwen, and my novel. 

The irony is I am much more certain about what I believe now. In the early days I was trying to force sense on ideas that simply didn't hold up upon deeper examination. I believed things I could not make sense of as an act of faith because emotionally and intellectually I'd never had the freedom to follow my conscience and my understanding. I have not found my new freedom any impediment to believing in and obeying Christ.

Tobit

I loved this story.  I'd never heard it before, and it is so sweet.  Protestant marriage workshops are crying out for Tobit.  It's from a different time than any other Bible stories I've read, and that gives it a distinctive character.  Short story shorter--two people are critically close to losing hope. God answers their prayers through the ministry of an angel, Raphael. How beautiful and charming. You must read it for yourself.

I See Satan Fall Like Lightning

There are some books that I can't have enough copies of.  I'm always lending them out, so I never have them to read.  I See Satan Fall Like Lightning is one of those books. Rene Girard, a man of many disciplines, continually challenges me to examine how I am living my life, which kingdom am I putting forward.  He has made me question the validity of so many ideas and practices that I took for granted.  I look at the way we refuse to abandon the teachings that we feel put us on the safe side of the contagion without acknowledging the wickedness of leaving anyone in the vulnerable zone. I used to dig moats and build castles out of theology and prejudice, but when you look at Jesus, he lived like a homeless person, vulnerable and open to everyone he met.

This is a book to challenge your thinking and to open your eyes to what kind of life you are really living.This is a chance to begin again.

Lost Shakespeare Found

The only problem with great writer's of yore is that when you've read everything they've written, you've read everything they've written.  You can reread them, but it's just not the same.  I read my first novel by Flannery O'Connor in my early twenties, and I have doled out her meager catalog bit by bit.  A decade later ;), I have one collection of short stories left.

The Bible was the first adult book I read for myself.  I started at five with the story of Moses in the Bulrushes.  I went on to read all the usual Bible stories.  Preaching had me reading the New Testament, and boredom with preaching introduced me to all the weird and wacky bits no one ever reads.  The practice of a daily quiet time moved me to get my reading organized.  Starting my freshman year of college, I used three different incarnations of the One Year Bible over the course of more than a decade.  Rereading and rereading and rereading, even the wacky bits became overly familiar.

One of the best benefits of converting to Catholicism is that there are all these new books of the Bible to read.  It feels like it would if someone discovered a lost Shakespearean play, and we could all experience his wisdom and genius in a fresh way. These new-to-me books of the Bible promise to be the Holy Spirit's fine work and work in me.  Getting  around to reading them has taken longer than expected, but, at last, the time has come.  I have an amazing Catholic Bible I was given during my RCIA classes, but it's paperbound, four inches thick, and the other dimensions are pretty generous too.  It wouldn't survive the kind of hauling around my loved books receive, so I have invested in a New Catholic Answer Bible.  A rosary is embossed on the leather-like cover.  The Table of Contents refers to the helpful inserts, not the books of the Bible, and a picture of Pope Francis was included free of charge.  I'm starting with Tobit.  Let the renewal begin!

A Glorious Synthesis

God and art has long been one of my favorite intersections.  A few years ago I discovered Sister Wendy's videos and I am slowly becoming a Sister Wendy omnivore.  If you are a person of any kind of faith, you will find her uplifting. Her discussions of great art are very accessible which may be the best thing about her work.  Nowhere is this more obvious than in her book of prayers for children.  Each prayer grows out of a work of art.  The works chosen are the kind that reward prolonged study, and the prayers have the profundity of all things simple.  Get this book for the children you know.  It will be a blessing. 

Over and Above My Wishlist

Earlier in the season, I posted a list of books I'd like and wished for the time to read them.  The books came and I'm making the time.  I started with Myths from Mesopotamia by Stephanie Dalley.  She includes so many details and end notes that my interest was stirred beyond the story of Adapa, and I found myself thinking of ancient stories in new ways.  Practical matters like missing bits and lost cultural assumptions.  I wanted the kids at our homeschool cooperative to have the same experience, but I knew it'd be difficult to acquire sufficient copies of the text.  "Ye have not because ye ask not" is a piece of ancient literature I was taught well.  On a whim I looked up Ms. Dalley and sent her an email asking if I might copy the pages for the kids.  To my great delight she replied the seven pages I needed were an allowed amount to copy.  It felt so good to send out those pages to my students.  It's going to be such a great class.  

Ms. Dalley also suggested we watch her documentary on finding the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.  You can see it HERE on YouTube.  It is exactly the kind of thing we want the kids to be watching.  The careful detective work, the critical contributions and leadership of a woman, and the terrible losses we are suffering because we'd rather fight instead of fight for peace, these are all values every kids should be exposed to.  Sometimes it's not just a book, sometime's it a new world or a new hero.  Sometimes it's all of the above.

Christmas Wish List

1.  Myths from Mesopotamia translated by Stephanie Dalley

2.  Legends of the Gods: The Egyptian Texts, Edited with Translations

3.  The Tale of Sinuhe translated by R.B. Parkinson

4.  Egyptian Mythology: A Guide to the Gods, Goddesses, and Traditions of Ancient Egypt
5.  The Book of Deeds of Arms and of Chivalry: by Christine de Pizan
6.  The time to read them all.

Bunny Tree

When Kurt and I were pretty sure we were getting married, I gave him a teddy bear with huge feet.  The plan was to replace the bear with babies with big feet.  As the babies began to arrive their feet weren't fat and round, they were long and skinny--bunny feet.  Like all good moms, I collected stories to read to them that shored up their sense of unconditional love, Runaway Bunny was a natural addition. 

It's that time when good bunnies get ready to run.  I am watching as each one gathers up tools, and ideas, and love to use as they face the world.  My job is to stay out of the way and to refrain from locking them in any closets.  I've decided I'm the bunny tree, and I will wait for them to fly home--when they're ready.

Mummy

This is our third trip through the ancients.  Mummifying a chicken has been on the activity list every time.  My older girls are more squeamish, and they vetoed it both times.  My younger three are more adventuresome, so we are mummifying a chicken.  I am thrilled because anything that brings history to life so vividly is my idea of good teaching.  This also is major bragging right as we'll be working on The Book of the Dead.  Learning the curse for the spirit that swallowed an ass is worth the price of admission right there.  Homeschooling is the best.

The Other Christmas

If you homeschool, preparing for school is a lot like getting ready for Christmas.  Secrets abound, rooms are off limits, lengthy discussions occur about what's festive and what's crazy.  I love it every year.  This year is the best year.

Studying the ancients takes one on a whirlwind tour through cultures and places.  Last year all we needed was a ship for the Age of Exploration, but for the ancients, we needed a Tardis.  Kurt and I had such a good time putting this together for the kids.  It's a huge hit with my most reluctant student asking me to start school half an hour early.

They had 3D Tardis, but it wasn't bigger on the inside. :)

The Dalek is there for motivation.  Motivation he happily supplies

These are the Tardis controls.  We collected them from thrift stores, antique stores, and whatever wasn't currently in use around the house.  Most items are non-functioning.  The drum set works.  Simon works.  We bought a weather station because we are studying weather first trimester.  We attached a holder for the iPad too.

My friend Janet Tyson helped create our Tardis interior.  I told her I wanted it to look like a theremin sounds.  She certainly succeeded.  We attached inflatable planets to the ceiling, but we can't keep the sun inflated.

This is the back of the Tardis controls.  It is also an arts and crafts depot.  My kids are growing up and can be trusted with paint and markers.  Hallelujah!

The time out chair and the Dalek's original home, but I thought it might be overkill.

The bulletin boards/portholes are supposed to have Mesopotamian items on them, but I can't find the timeline I was going to cut them from.  I guess the Tardis portholes are on the fritz until Egypt.

Video equipment for The Great Courses, the kid's books, binders and supplies, white board and storage,  drawers for copies and completed work in need of grading.

We bought this table when our oldest seemed too short for it.  We were right to buy it.  We'd never have seen it again and it cost us next-to-nothing.  We're doing Flannelgraph this year.  The Bible is ancient literature too.

All those book over all those years, they add up.  The planets continue across the ceiling.  My workstation is there in the corner.

Mea made this for the kids to get them to do their work within the time allotted. Everyone who does so gets a sticker to get them closer to the top.  With our fancy Tardis interior we are running out of wall space.

This is the most fun I've had in years.  The Tardis theme makes everything play and exploration.  What a wonderful gift from this other Christmas.

An Interior View

Explaining my conversion to Catholicism isn't easy.  Even trying to express it to the the home crowd, I can never get the right balance.  There is too much.

Protestant Fundamentalism/Evangelicalism is a bookish kind of life.  Dominated (rightly) by the Bible, it comes naturally to hand a book to a friend when you are trying to explain the things that matter to you and that are leading to greater spiritual growth in your life.  There are many terrific books about Catholicism that I could give to Protestant friends, but the responses would range from burning the book to politely allowing it to collect dust.  

I keep looking for books that open windows of understanding on my Catholic beliefs and practices with a simple, open-handed honesty that allows the reader to take it or leave it.  My sponsor Jane handed me the first book of this type at my Confirmation--Catholic and Christian. I have finally found a second.

My Life with the Saints tackles the very sticky wicket, the communion of the saints.  I remember discussing my prayer life with a Protestant friend who suddenly gasped and said, "You don't pray to Mary, do you?"  For the record, yes, I do.  For some of my friends that is inconceivable.  For them that means I worship the saints.  For the record, no, I don't.

Understanding how Catholics really think about the saints could be truly helpful in understanding this surprising and important part of Catholic life.  To James Martin, S.J., the saints are our models, intercessors, and friends.  He opens up the intertwining of his life with the lives of the saints, spreading all his inner thinking out for the world to see--including my Protestant friends.  The work of the saints is there to be seen in abundance, but I'm afraid evidence of idolatry is clearly lacking.

You can't convince the hard-hearted of anything, but for those who would truly like to understand their brothers and sisters a little better, this book could be helpful.

Andrew

Way back when, my cousin love-bombed my parents with books from his perspective.  One of them was Ender's Game.  I blasted through it in two days and I periodically return to it even now.  It sent me on an Orson Scott Card binge, but none of the others had this book's power.  Ender's internal voice is similar to mine.  His relationship to others, being a part of things yet always separate, is simply human.  Discovering that you are your community's favorite weapon is an experience understood and whose pain of shared responsibility for horrors, while overblown, is not overborne.  

I am eager to see the movie version, but I am certain it cannot live up to the book.  How will they get us in Ender's head?  That is the sight to see, the rest of it is simply something for him to think about.  

St. Teresa of Avila

 

I read The Book of My Life for Lent, and found it anything but lenten. She is funny and smart and always focused on the point. It was a wonderful beginning for a study of the mystics. Here's some of the bounty I found along the way.

for me. "That's why it can be such an intense relief to see yourself described in a book. It's affirming to discover that you are on the right path after all."

for J. "All I needed to know was that God was in charge of everything.

for T. "It is clear that all the Beloved wants of us is humility and holy bewilderment. He wants us to accept what we are given and praise the one who gives it."

for H. "This kind of self-loathing is one of the spirit of evil's most insidious, painful and deceptive tricks. I'm warning you about this so that if he tries to tempt you in this way, you will have the foresight to recognize it. Don't think it's a matter of of academic learning or theological knowledge. Even though I am impoverished in these areas, the minute I escape from his clutches, it is obvious to me that my negative feelings were goundless."

for S. "I began to talk to The Lord in that silly way of mine. I don't know what I'm saying when this happens. It's love that's talking. My soul becomes so transported that I can no longer tell any difference between her and God."

for N. "Pay no attention to the scarecrows the spirit of evil sets up to frighten us. Remember, every time we ignore them, they grow weaker and we gain more mastery."

for K. "Once when I was especially worried about this, The Lord spoke to me. "What are you afraid of?" he asked. "Only one of two things could come of it. People will either criticize you or praise me." He explained that the people who believed in the experience would praise him and those who didn't would condemn me. It wasn't my problem. Either way, the outcome would benefit me, so I shouldn't be anxious."

for R. "The fact is I have so little time to give to this writing certainly does not help my ability to be able to explain this very well. Therefore, his Majesty must come to my rescue. Living in a house that was so recently founded, I am inundated with community duties and other related business. I can only write in fits and spurts, and I can never really settle down into it. I wish I had more space to write, because when The Lord gives me inspiration, the words flow with great ease and clarity. Then writing is just like sketching a model that is sitting right in front of me.
But when inspiration is lacking, it doesn't matter how many years a person might have spent in prayer, my words make no more sense that if I were speaking Arabic, as the saying goes. And so it seems to me that my only hope is to enter a state of prayer while I am writing. That's when I can clearly see that I am not the one doing the writing. I'm not the one planning out in my mind what I'm going to say nor do I understand afterward how I managed to say it at all. This happens to me often."

for us all. "I wish that the five [8] of us friends who love each other in Christ could make a pact. We would gather together on a regular basis for the purpose of freeing each other from illusion. We would suggest ways in which each of us could improve our relationship with God. No one knows himself as well as someone close to him who observes him with love and concern for his spiritual growth.

Failures

 

I tend to write about things I find that I'm pleased with.  The disappointments merely collect in the lower cupboard waiting for me to decide when to completely give up.  Unfortunately Spelling Power had me fooled for three years.  All the research seemed to be in place, but no matter how long I followed the system, Rosie still can't spell.  It's the first thing that made me question the value of homeschooling curriculum

Veritas Press is great in that it values traditional literature.  It's horrible in that it values traditional perspectives.  I liked this because it had real chops, but then when I read through parts I found myself profoundly uncomfortable with the perspective on women.  There were other things too that set my teeth ajar.   It's a beautiful book.  It commends excellent literature.  It would fit right in back a century or two.

I like to teach the kids all together when I can.  It's an ideal that a number of curriculum strive for,but nothing got me quite as excited as The Weaver curriculum.  Based on a chronological tour of the Bible, all the subjects other than math were taught with all the kids in one class.  This was so exciting.  I just pulled out pages and we were all ready to go for the day.  The trick was, the only thing that was taught well was the Bible.  Everything else was sub par.  It took me two weeks to realize I'd wasted a lot of time and money.  We dug out old stuff from previous years and searched up inexpensive things to get us through.  Don't waste your money on this.  It's a good idea, but badly done.

My Personal Fab Five

Everybody needs good advice from their friends.  These literary figures have long been my good friends, so much so that I call them Aunt or Uncle depending.  These are not my favorite saints.  That's a whole different thing.  This is more about camaraderie than hero worship, though I'll admit to a little hero worship.

Tante Corrie (Ten Boom)
The consequences for her sympathy for others are horrific, but no matter how much else she lost, she never lost this basic instinct of caring for others in trouble.  I want to be as brave and forgiving as she was.

 Auntie Jane (Austen)
She pushed herself to write for publication, but never lost her own voice.  I want to be published.

Aunt Flan(nery O'Connor)
She woke me up and made writing seem like something worth doing.  I never understood what redemption meant until The Violent Bear It Away.  Now I can't stop looking at it--through parted fingers, but still.

Uncle Jack (C. S. Lewis)
His tape started running in my head when Dad started reading me The Chronicles of Narnia at two and finally left off reading me Lewis with That Hideous Strength when I was off to get married at twenty-three.  I marvel at how he shapes my mind, down to a fascination with medieval literature.  I hope to learn his kindness.

Uncle Frebby (Frederick Buechner)
He is my only living model, which was quite a comfort when I was lonely.  He is so patient with his faults and honest about discussing them.  I grew up in a world where flaws were hidden or everyone was too intimidated to state the obvious.  I want to be that genuine. 

Easy Like Friday Morning

The truth is it isn't easy, not easy at all.  My love affair with dawn is long ended and clawing my way up to a reasonable consciousness that can not only motivate four children to get ready for the day but to go out for the day is a big deal.  It is even tougher because I'm teaching first hour this session, so I've got to have all my stuff and get there early enough to prep.  Is it worth it?  Completely.  We've all made wonderful friends.  I've had a chance to remember the pleasure of being part of something bigger than myself.  Oh, yeah, and we've learned a bunch of stuff.
Lake Michigan Home Schooling Cooperative is a wonderful organization that my friend, Julie DeBlanc--that's her in the picture--introduced me to.  At that time I was fiercely independent not wanting anyone's influence, but I like Julie and she came from a perspective that didn't encroach on mine at all.  I visited one Friday and I was hooked.  There were about 70 kids, all moving around in an orderly, purposeful manner.  There was a wide variety of topics in the classes and there were offerings for every age group so that I could really participate and know my kids were all OK.
I remembered how much I like teaching and I taught everything from a preschool class on vowels, to Learn to Write the Novel Way, to Medieval Women.
This session I'm teaching Medieval Monasticism to third through sixth graders.  My student are dream students, eager to learn and quick to remember.  I combined the information (gleaned from The Age of the Cloister, The Rule of St. Benedict, The Habit, A Medieval Monk, Life in a Medieval Monastery, The Working Life--A Medieval Monk, among others.) about life as a monk or nun in the medieval period with the lives of famous monks and nuns and a personal call to a life of work and prayer.  I lecture through the topic of the day--becoming a monk, the abbot, the Divine Hours, then we take a look at the saint of the day which I provide them with a short bio and a picture on a laminated card like sports cards.  We take a break for a song or an activity--Calced vs. Discalced Foot Race, etc.  Then we finish by taking on another level of responsibility on our work and prayer card.  I set up a laminated kids chore card with prayer time and simple, basic chores that we are taking on one step at a time.  This is my favorite class so far.  The enthusiasm of medieval monks is inspiring and the variety of its expression is fascinating.

Pilgrimage of Desire

I had the privilege of meeting Alison Gresik at the Festival of Faith and Writing.  I was immediately intrigued by her perspective and by her work.  I'm still interested, which is, I think, one of the best things you can say about someone.  Alison's current project is publishing a memoir through Indiegogo.  Indiegogo is interesting all on it's own, but when you add to that the story of a family recovering from depression by selling their home and using the money to travel the world it becomes irresistable.  Throw into the mix two charming children. and you have movie popcorn with chocolate chips sprinkled in.  To take a look or to support her efforts visit this link--http://www.indiegogo.com/Pilgrimage-of-Desire

If you can't get enough at the grocery store

When I was young, UPCs were a novelty, and watching the cashier scan the groceries evoked scanner envy.  Then came the self-checkout, and my joy overflowed.  Now you can bring that joy home--with The Home Library App.  Just wave the camera over the UPC on the back of most books and seconds later you have a detailed record of your book.  For older books, you can do a keyword search, for really old books you can enter it manually.  So far I've scanned about 1/2 of our books, I think, and we have 1, 021 titles and the replacement value is 20,000.
I'm enjoying reconnecting with books I haven't seen in a while.  My library is one of my favorite ways of connecting with people.  Pulling the perfect book off the shelf never gets old, and most of my books get returned--though it's been a while since I've seen A Good Man is Hard to Find.
Great app!  Good clean fun.