A Christmas to Dye For

Sometimes the holidays call for a dye job. It started with Mea's red velvet birthday cake which requires an entire bottle of food coloring. It was delicious, so then I wondered if you could make green velvet, and made a sheet cake version for our piano teacher. From there I digressed to sugar cookies, making Red Hot Hearts, Lemon Yellow Stars, Blue Almond Snowflakes, Green Peppermint Christmas Trees, the other flavors got their coloring from ingredients (Gingerbread Men, Chocolate Bears, and Vanilla Snowmen). Anyone have ideas for other flavors and colors?
Finally, it was time for my first Christmas Velvet Cake. I wanted something Dr. Seussian, so instead of splitting the layers I stacked four whole layers, alternating red and green. It was as delicious as it was cheerful. If you decide to try it use the America's Test Kitchen recipe.

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A Massy Christmas

Until this year, I've hosted a family Christmas for all our family, both sides, for three days. Everyone but myself and our oldest are Protestant, so finding a way to go to mass without upsetting most of my guests wasn't possible. It was my first item in confession after Christmas, and I always felt sad. The importance of the calendar in the liturgy is one of my favorite things about my faith. It orchestrates us through all the highs and lows in a way that keeps us from taking Christ for granted.
This year it was time to try something new which means I'm free of all that cleaning, cooking, planning and shopping. Taking care of the eight of us feels so light and easy. Best of all my new freedom opens the door to Christ Mass. We've got our fancy clothes laid out. We're looking for a restaurant to cook our seven fishes. (Hallelujah!). We've got our plan in place, and I can't wait to go to mass. I want to know if it's as rich as Easter Vigil or simpler, with children in mind. Whatever it is Jesus will be there, guaranteed.

Mr. Magorium's Shoe Emporium

These are the shoes that  I would order in enough quantity to last my entire life.  Wearing them is like going barefoot on your personal piece of floor.  They are cute without being flashy.  I feel happy every time I put them on.  Five years ago, Kurt said it was OK to upgrade to Land's End because I wear my shoes into the ground.  I thought they'd be available forever, but I guess you have to turn to L.L. Bean for that kind of persistence of vision. 
I'm hoping to be as fortunate with my recent purchase of a leather backpack.  Carrying every book, for every class, everywhere during college facilitated a great social life and a good GPA.  It also remodeled my shoulders and made carrying anything on one shoulder painful.  The addition of the iPad and nook to my life and purse has been great except for the weight.  When I realized I was getting a cart to carry the purse, I decided to quit pushing the issue and get a backpack.  Le Donne had several good options at fairly reasonable prices.  I love the Everything Women's Backpack.  Everything together it weighs 8.4 pounds, but split between shoulders and pulling in a slightly different way it feels comparatively light as a feather.
If I felt more certain about the durability of the straps I might stock up.  I sure do wish I had with my shoes.

Santa Baby

I'm a collector. Nothing pleases me more than a complete set. If I let myself everything becomes a collection, which is why I've limited myself to books and cookie cutters--Comfort Grip Cookie Cutters. If I left it as unspecific as "cookie cutters," I'd have a room full of them. I thought I was doing pretty well, buying only the ones I liked not really expecting it all to add up to much, particularly not to rise in value. But they have.
I was searching for the Christmas stocking they offered last year. It was gone, out of stock, so I thought I'd give eBay a try. The price has certainly gone up from the four bucks I typically spend. As I explored eBay's offerings I found all kinds of great Comfort Grip Cookie Cutters I hadn't known existed going for as much as 80 bucks. Wow, is all I can say. I can also say while I'm not ready to spend 80 bucks to complete the set, I'm not letting any more cookie cutters slide. Who knows which one will be the kids college tuition? And Santa, if you're listening, I've got a list of the ones I'm missing. We could start with the Christmas Stocking.

Pre

Blogger topics are usually constantly perking along on my brain's back burner, but I'm coming to the end of my novel and every spare nerve is wound up in "is this plot viable" thinking.  If it were possible I'd swear that my brain has even pulled in my motor neurons leaving me both sedentary  and clumsy.  My apologies to my readers for the lack of posts.  I hope to be finished sometime in the next month and a half.  In the meantime, I have a list of topics I drew up before my brain went AWOL.  I'll use those to put items together, hopefully at least weekly.
The good news is this draft looks like it will be a viable draft ready for review and massive editing.  The climax came first for me and hooking up all those links from the beginning seemed unlikely, but my writer's group was there to help me keep pushing forward four double-spaced pages at a time.  Each page made the next possible and here I am with those last "i"s to dot and "t"s to cross.  There's nothing to do but pray for the best and keep writing.

My Favorite Bible Character

David and his mighty men were my favorites growing up. My very favorite is Eleazar, son of Dodai the Ahohite. He and David went on and on about the Lord before a battle with the Philistines. When the battle began the Hebrew line broke and everyone ran--except Eleazar, who fought on alone rather than make a mockery of his boasting about the Lord. The Bible says he fought until the sword froze to his hand, and that the Hebrews returned only to strip the dead. I've always admired that.
Michele Duggar is pregnant again. I'm not really happy for her to tell you the truth, but I don't think she's going for number 20 because it's a round number. We all chase God in our own ways, and fearsome indeed are some of our bargains. As a Catholic I pray that Eleazar walks with them in this challenge and whatever else they feel called to answer to.

Eat Your Supper

I put it on the table
Get it while it's hot


I could never eat
I'm too hungry


Don't be silly 
Everyone eats


Food is too good for me
I worship its memory


It's not a memory
It's food, on the table piping hot
Eat your supper


No


Chew
Swallow
Eat


There is so much to chews from


There is only my supper
Take and eat.

I'm going to Disney World!

OK, not really, but that's what I've always figured I'd say when the last diaper was changed.  It's been sixteen years and I'm almost there.  We've made the big move to underwear and two accidents aside, things are moving along.  I'm not sure what I'll do without diapers, but I know our budget will be happy.  Maybe happy enough to save up for Disney World.

What did they do to my Bug?!?!

I like to look ahead. Just over the hill is a day where I will only need to drive one person around town. The mini-van will be a thing of the past, maybe not just for me. I will be needing a new ride. Cars matter to me. I like them. I tend to name them. I want something fun but established. This added up to a VW Bug, before the new redesign. It's so ugly now. My dreams, which were extensive and involved grand-children and a specialty paint job are looking for a new home. Perhaps I should go back to my original scheme--a Corvette.

It's not a purse...

it's a toolbox. Before my first PDA, my purse was a grown up pencil case with a wallet and pens. Recently my purse has been growing. First I added a nook which put almost every book I want to read at my constant beck and call. Then my husband gave me an iPad and all the rest of the world is at my feet. All those terrific apps have taken my compulsive planning to a new level by making it--easy.
The most important app is the most basic and it came with the machine, the Calendar Function. It isn't pretty, but it more than does the job. All my appointments and projects are there whenever I add something new. They come in a few different configurations and I've found them all useful. The information is presented as completely as possible without unnecessary bulk This app plays well with others most importantly with my lesson planning app.
Wikly--alas poor wikly I loved it well. It's color-coding feature is beautiful and practical, but it doesn't work well with other programs. I was hoping to work that one to my advantage by using it for a specific and limited purpose, but the way that Calendar shares some info clutters the screen with unintended items. It's plan to make planning beautiful has left it hampered with too narrow a display. If I could link this app exclusively to my lesson planning app I'd be so happy. It would declutter Calendar and make my school plans beautiful.
iPlan Lessons--if you homeschool, if you teach at all, this is a wonderful thing. All three years I taught professionally I wrote 3 weeks worth of lesson plans, . I always figured I knew what they needed to know. I knew what they didn't, and I knew what resources I had to close the gap. What more do you need? Not so with homeschooling where you are teaching multiple grades and resources can be swallowed up in the general school clutter. Not with iPlan, I've been planning for every day, some subjects a few weeks in advance. Suddenly writing out detailed lesson plans is just a few clicks, gathering information for an easy to execute plan that incorporates all the kids and all the resources, simply. You can organize lessons by date, resource and class. If you teach you will appreciate this and as it is still in development it's only going to get better.
Pepper Plate--this is a dedicated app that amazes me every time I pick it up. I felt the need to get our family menus more organized so I sketched out a crap weekly plan because every work of art needs a beginning. Pepper Plate put it on a calendar and I was thrilled. Then I had some time to enter the fancy Sunday dinner and the ingredient list was just a click away from a shopping list. Adding in other recipes--even "frozen pizza" and adding that recipe to the shopping list means I'm ready to shop whenever or wherever the opportunity presents itself. I can take items off the list by clicking, so a quick spin around the kitchen means I won't be buying a third jug of BBQ sauce. The library of recipes I'm amassing lets me see a day when meal planning for a week is 7 clicks away.
Chore Pad--I have mentioned this before, but it's changed our lives. The kid's responsibilities are all set up on lists and they are rewarded with stars. We assigned a monetary value to stars and a family economy has been born. Stars can be redeemed for rewards or lost for bad behavior. Inspection is simple and instant. We love this.

Happy 4/5 Birthday, Harriet!

Only 1/5 left to go.  Soon, I will proudly announce that harriet is a complete draft.  That may be the only adjective a kind person might use to describe her in her current state, but that's all the fun of revising.  I don't think it will take me long to write the last 1/5.  I know my characters now and I know what they can stand.  The last section is dark and weird.  Hopefully it will also be true.
What a great adventure this has been.

Moon Queen

too hot to play
too cold to stay
I wander around
possibilities
unsettled

Ollie Ollie Oxenfree

I don't know who taught me to yell that at the end of hide and seek, but I imagined some little man answering my call like Elijah at Passover. Each school year I feel like I'm calling out the scholarly side of my children and they keep hoping to stay out of sight. This year, like it or not, they are going to have a good time. Our two eldest are off to public school, which leaves me with two kids worth of extra energy for the remaining four.
Uniforms are getting old. We like to be more casual now. The only thing we really like about uniforms was the price, so I found a compromise, t-shirts. CheapesTees is having a 20% off sale, so I speced out a Monkey Summer solution. Everyone gets 5 teeshirts in their favorite color. Mom gets one of everyone else's color, except for Fridays, I got pink for Friday. Picking up the jeans is easy and cheap making this years uniforms likely to be the best clothes solution ever.
We're back around to Human Anatomy and Phys. I'm so excited. It is my favorite subject. As in year's previous, I'll be relying on Dr. Goodman's course from The Teaching Company for organization and basic facts and then adding in activities and games from books I've collected.
Mpving on to history, we're going medieval so that keeps me happy. I'm struggling with what books to ask our third to read. I want her to read some real medieval literature, but I don't want to overwhelm her. She didn't grow up on the KJV. I'll obviously have her read a Redwall and The Once and Future King, but I was always sad to realize the book I'd read wasn't really ancient. I wanted some authentic experience of the time. I wanted to connect with a medieval person. I don't know what my student will want. Susan Wise Bauer's new series, particularly The History of the Medieval World, will be her giude this year. I'm sure she will miss the coziness of the read aloud history I do with the young ones.
Math we are going Horizons all the way. It may not be the best program, but it's the one my kids like to do. I can live with that.
Writing, spelling, literature, I'm taking a homemade approach based on composition books. I feel most comfortable with this side of things. Horizons will keep my fledgling reader going, but everyone else will be winging it with me.
Phys Ed is new this year. Studying the human body lends itself to a study of health and fitness. We've made stabs at it in the past, but this year I've assigned a time and laid out activities including the pool at the Aquatic Center. I'm hoping we'll get it right for this year and years to come.

Crabbies at Bay

Keeping kids happy and busy is a fine art. Too much guidance and the activity becomes work. Too little and many activities become difficult to do. Sometimes you can turn necessities like eating into great opportunities for learning and bonding. It's all a matter of thinking ahead and keeping your eyes open for good possibilities. Here are some of this years favorites.

The Greatest Puzzles Ever Solved--I picked this up off the bargain table at Barnes and Noble as a homeschooler I find so many great things there and this was one of them. Enjoyed by just about everybody it was a great way to pass time between outings, and a lot of history and logic got sneaked in there.

One Stitch at a Time--This vacation wasn't just our little family, we were accompanied by my parents, my sister's family and my sister-in-law's family. That meant eleven cousins, including a cadre of older girls, needed to get better acquainted. This little kit was something I wasn't sure about. It would either be hit all week long or last for about five minutes. It was a hit they made three different stuffed animals for the youngest cousins. It says that it has everything you need on the box, but there is actually a long list of sewing staples in the book. I solved most of those issues with beginner's sewing kit and Kurt picked up enough felt to keep them busy for a couple months. :) It is a great activity for older kids.

Sticker Books--Terribly old-fashioned, but always a hit. I tried to find ones connected to the ocean, but Winnie the Pooh snuck in there somehow too.

Color Me a Song--My youngest was overlooked a bit last summer so this year I made an extra effort with this little machine that plays music according to the speed he colored. He liked it both in the van and at the house.

The Beach--All of us love the ocean. It's why we're there, but it doesn't get much press. We love the beach.

Barrier Island Eco Tours, Crabbing Expedition--I've been checking into this group for twelve years. Every year my dad and I were down we'd purpose to go crabbing for our supper and every year it wouldn't work out. This year I decided we were going, and it was going to be a success. Barrier Island Eco Tours were all they promised. We had such a good time learning about the native flora and fauna and catching 4 crabs by hand. The feast was wonderful, though I could have done with a little less grit. Blue crabs are so sweet and it's been so long since I'd had any it didn't slow me down. Next year I hope to take everyone.

All but HI, NV, and SD

Vacation time again. This year, like most years we played the license plate game, but unlike most years there was a twist--we had an ipad and there was an app for that. There were apps of all kinds and they kept the kids busy and happy wherever we went. Here's the run down on our favorites.

License Plate Game HD--It keeps track of both license plates you've seen and the states you've visited. Horizontally, the map with the located states is displayed. Vertically, information about each state is available. It's fun and informative, the best kind of game.

The Monster at the End of this Book--is an old favorite, but the new Ipad version adds a new dimension of funny. The knots untie. The bricks fall down. IN the end, Grover is so embarrassed. The kids pushed play, over and over and over again. Definitely the most used app.

Casey's Contraptions--Everyone got started with this game and enjoyed it, but with so many different experiences it didn't get the kind of play I think it will in the future. It was fun to solve simple engineering problems with Rube Goldberg devices, and my children get a lot of ingenuiity of that kind from their dad.

Star Walk--Is amazing. You point it at the sky and it tells you what constellations and such you are looking at, even if light pollution has wiped them out. Everyone spent some time playing with this one, but it was especially exciting to our fourth. She loves meteorology.

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore--Do not miss this one!! It is now my children's favorite bed time story, with a wonderful story and excellent extra activities. What an amazing new dimension for books and children. It is good on every level, something children should exposed to. It's a bit like broccoli with cheese sauce, only better.

Garage Band--let everyone mess around with instruments and music. It was the kind of thing that one kid would be playing while another eagerly looked on and then it would be passed off to the next. Lots of fun that goes beyond a basic keyboard. It's kind of a Wurlitzer organ for your car.

Match Pair--is a classic Memory game, but it was terrific for the younger ones. Even my year old niece could play it, thanks to the fact that the cards could not be muddled by her initially sporadic actions. The longer she played the better she did. This next generation is going to be something else. The animal drawings are cute and the fact that the sounds are corrected was also interesting.

All in all, the iPad truly improved our trip experience. Stay tuned for a run down on the old fashioned apps we loved just as well.

Moving On Up

Nicole Hill always had that sparkle of a woman to watch, even back in the day when we met and she was preparing for marriage. Seven children later, she's managed to bring her family through the daunting task of getting her husband Matthew through college with style and obvious grace. She's sharing that knowledge on a great blog, particularly if you like make-a-head meals. Give it a look. The recipes and home-won wisdom will repay your glance.Climbing Hills

Congratulations, Jo!

Your terrifying courage is well repaid.


"If you ask how such things can occur, seek the answer in God’s grace, not in doctrine; in the longing of the will, not in the understanding; in the sighs of prayer, not in research; seek the bridegroom not the teacher; God and not man; darkness not daylight; and look not to the light but rather to the raging fire that carries the soul to God with intense fervor and glowing love. The fire is God, and the furnace is in Jerusalem, fired by Christ in the ardor of his loving passion. Only he understood this who said: My soul chose hanging and my bones death. Anyone who cherishes this kind of death can see God, for it is certainly true that: No man can look upon me and live."
St. Bonaventure

Assignment: Confessions

I've decided to drop numbering my forays into the Great Books. It made some sense when I was working from end to end, but now that our group is choosing books in a mostly random fashion, I feel it conveys no meaning.
I truly did enjoy Augustine's Confessions though I felt I didn't get as much out of it as I wanted. I would like it if I had the time to read it two or three more times, but I don't. I can make do with the bits I picked up. Looking at his perspective on time and comparing it with the little I know about modern ideas really reinforced the idea that our knowledge grows cumulatively each generation upon the next. I loved how personable St. Augustine is. Anybody else going on and on like that I'd think "What a windbag!," but because he is confessing not lecturing my heart was much more open to the lessons he had to offer.
Even though I failed to mine every nugget, I was impressed enough to continue with the next book of Augustine's that the Great Books recommend--The City of God. I'm only getting started, but I'm enjoying it. It's more my style of thinking than Confessions. I want to compare it with Jeremiah and Lamentations if I can find the time.
In any case I can say mission accomplished about Confessions and move it along.

Go the F**k to Sleep

Family movies about bad parental priorities seldom have as charming a vehicle for the retraining camp as Mr. Popper's delightful penguins. I went with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. I've loved the story since I was a child and I read it to my kids. The idea of barely referencing the characters I love so much worried me. They did a wonderful job crafting a new story. The new Mr. Popper has six charming penguins to teach him the lessons he seems to have have missed with his own offspring. The penguins allow him to be more emotionally honest than one can be with children. The movie is gentle and funny, and well worth watching. Everyone should have penguins to practice on. You can go right ahead and read them Go The F**k To Sleep without worrying about scarring them for life.

Welcome Henrietta Pussycat

Best birthday present ever has to be my iPad. It's like crutches for my brain. Things that came so easily when I was younger, I now need apps to keep track.
And there are tons of apps! Want to get your kids excited about doing their chores? Chore Pad has everyone working hard to earn stars and open trophies. Want to pray in a deeply meaningful way in community with the church? The Divine Office simplifies all the ribbons and antiphons and allows you to pray at the same time as three to five hundred people. Want to lose weight? Livestrong Calorie Tracker has all the info you need to count calories including those burned by exercise. Want to pick up the pace on your writing project? Write Chain gently nudges you to meet daily goals. And I'm just getting started.
Not to mention that it's just fun. I have games and the Internet at my fingertips. Entertaining children who are worn out or bored is just at the tap of a finger. I've added nook for kids, though I won't be replacing my classic nook--X the Owl. I love how it is as close to a book as an electronic machine can get. All of my Great Books reading will be done on my nook. For picture books you really have to have color, so I don't mind moving that function to my iPad--Henrietta Pussycat. All in all, I foresee those two sharing purse space for years to come.

To Do List

1. Pray the Divine Office every day.
2. Housework
3. Training the kids in basic life skills.
4. Summer School
5. Finish the first draft of Harriet and polish small sections up to second draft standards for my writer's group.
6. Read the Great Books, specifically The City Of God,and prepare for monthly meeting of the Great Books Group.
7. Take kids to Japanese study group.
8. Maintain blog.
9. Publicize Pregnant Rituals
10. Develop recipe for Pillsbury Bake-off.
11. Exercise

Felix Felicis

Did you ever have one of those days where everything goes better than right? Yesterday was one of those days for me. It started with my terrific kids working together to clean up while I led my second through summer school. Just as we finished, Kurt's love spoon was delivered. Hand crafted in Wales it was the sequel to the one we bought on our honeymoon. None of the ones we browsed were ambitious enough to have six balls in a cage signifying the desire for six children. We purchased the most meaningful spoon instead and have treasured it all these years. Now we were ready for six balls in a cage. The same craftsmen carved both. I was so excited about giving it to Kurt. Next I took kids to the library to work on Japanese in their study group. While I was out I decided to walk through our little village and actually shop the stores I drive by. It was a pleasant distraction until I reached the Love Inc. thrift store. They often have nice things, but I was not expecting to find a complete set of the Great Books with a terrific binding. I needed a copy of the Syntopicon that I could carry around. My husband's parent's set is both revered and the binding is a bit fragile, so I don't take it out of the house. I dickered the already reasonable price down to a guilt free price. I came home and got ready for a mysterious date that ended at the Apple Store where this 40 year old lady was given an iPad. I love it. I love, love it. The portability is amazing. Last stop was El Burrito Loco--my favorite restaurant. They were nearly empty so the chef put some extra shooozz into my burritos. I felt so blessed and enriched. I'm doing the right things with my life. I've finally found my path. That is so worth turning 40 for.

Rango and Redwall

We finally have the technology to bring Redwall to life. Earlier efforts lacked the power to really bring Gulo or any of the villains to their terrifying life. It was all so warm and cute. Redwall's warfare is not warm and cute and the villains are horrible and crazy. Rango was great fun, but all I could think about how perfect this style of animation was for our abbey. Martin deserves the appropriate gravity his life and legacy have earned.

Mother always said...

I was born 35, so I'm coming up on 75. It's a good thing I like younger men as Kurt is officially 40. I'm embracing old age. This is the part in books where it's perfect and you don't want anything to change. The kids are all still home. They are growing and learning and continually amazing me with the things they do. I have a lot of zip and I know what to do with it. Kurt's pretty hot for an old guy. I finally know what I want to do with the second half of my life, and it took me all of the first to get there. Time is just short enough for me to be focused on how precious it is. What a wonderful thing to be 40.

A Young Mycroft Holmes

Sherlock Holmes lived in our family imagination when I was a child. We read his adventures over and over, and hated it when we came to the end--again. This sparked an interest in the many different versions of Shelockian fiction that offered themselves as fix for our addiction, but nearly always fell flat. I am pleased to say one of my friends has produced an authentic version of a young Sherlock Holmes. He does so by using Mycroft as the point of view character and setting the young Sherlock the terrible task of solving his mother's murder.
Steve Poling's Mycroft is Sherlock's older brother, weighing their respective merits and ultimately loving his brother above all else. The boys' father is available in a rather cryptic manner adding another level of complexity to a difficult case. Better than all of that, the tone and pacing of the story are an accurate recreation of the original stories. The Aristotelian is priced at a very reasonable .99. If you love Sherlock Holmes, you will love this.

poor baby

Summer, for all intents and purposes, is here which means a lot of things, but my favorite is getting back to my writer's group a.k.a. the West Michigan Writer's Workshop. If you are a fanatical follower of this blog then you might wonder at the name change. Yes, it's the same group, but we've broken away from the UICA. I'll let you know when we have a website.
It is so tasty to sink my teeth into someone else's work for a change. The pink ink was flowing tonight. The unfortunate thing is that I don't seem able to produce work worth critiquing. The first draft is a long way from done and I haven't quite gotten into the mindset for my second draft. All of this has Harriet looking like a barrel of missionary clothes. I have to figure it out. This is summer, my one opportunity to get an outside opinion.

anti apocalypse

I grew up listening to people talk about the Apocalypse, certain it was coming soon. Any bad weather, the European Union, credit cards, the United Nations, the legalization of abortion etc. could set off a round of excited talk about the rapture--unless you were mid-tribulation or post-tribulation. They tended to be very serious and less likely to see the judgement of God in everything. I suppose it's the difference between being whisked off to a party and being one of those who will complete the number of martyrs.
I don't know the ins and outs of the group that thinks they've finally figured God's puzzle out. I keep my distance from those things now that I can, but I know they are wrong. I have my reasons and they don't matter, because the most obvious one is how much love there is in in the world. Friend's calls, my husband's kisses, my children's warm hugs, there is no way the world is ending tonight.

Pregnant Rituals

I decided to self-publish a manuscript through Barnes and Noble's PubIt!. The title is Pregnant Rituals, and it's about finding and creating emotional support during pregnancy and the early weeks of parenting. The book is brief and to the point since there are so many other books on the subject. I think mine has it's own unique honesty that makes it stand out. It will be available for nook in 24-72 hours.

Anti Virgin

Diana's innocence has lost it's value and is now sold as regrettable inexperience. Kate's experience as a live in lover is pointed to as wise and helpful. It does seem that Kate will be doing a better job since she's lived the demanding life she has married into, but I can't help regretting the loss of respect for purity.

Assignment 2

My plans were a little sidetracked when I began meeting with my Great Books Group. It is such a pleasure to share the joys and struggles of reading such important literature. I'll be hopscotching from book to book, leaving behind order and plan for serendipity. Rather than the previously mentioned Freud and Monkey, I will be sharing some of my favorite quotes from Pascal's Pensees. Enjoy.

"The last thing one settles in writing a book is what one should put in first."

"Justice is subject to dispute; might is easily recognized and is not disputed. So we cannot give might to justice because might has gainsaid justice and has declared that it is she herself who is just. And thus, being unable to make what is just strong, we have made what is strong, just."

"Let us, therefore, not look for certainty and stability. Our reason is always deceived by fickle shadows; nothing can fix the finite between the two Infinites, which both enclose and fly from it."

"Between us and heaven or hell there is only life, which is the frailest thing in the world."

"The conduct of God, who disposes all things kindly, is to put religion into the mind by reason and into the heart by grace. But to will to put it into the mind and heart by force and threats is not to put religion there, but terror."

Happy St. Zita's Day!

For her inspiring story visit HERE.

All I Wanted for Christmas

was new toilets, but it turns out its more of an Easter thing. One or another of our toilets was clogged at least once a day. All the usual problems with that kind of thing, added to a bunch of leaks, left us with no choice but to call a plumber. Bret Noordoff diagnosed our problem right away. The toilets were of a notorious design, by which he could and did date our home's construction. After living with disfunction all this time, we decided to replace them. I haven't had to plunge a toilet since. I never thought I'd dance the happy dance over bathroom fixtures. Welcome to adulthood at last.

And She Said, "Oh, Its You."

Knot Not Naught

tied,woven, macramed
fist in my chest
where God is not
O, Mary, lend me a sword

guidance unity discipline

One of the stray things I came across when I was thinking about converting was the eager testimonial that Catholics were always celebrating something, and they do celebrate quite a bit. There really is generally speaking, a party on the horizon most of the time. I like that. I don't participate as much as I should, but it's nice to know it's there. Catholics also celebrate some things that don't seem like holidays, at least not at first, but I'm discovering they grow on you.
My favorite example is Lent. As a Christian who studied her Bible I always knew that fasting was to be part of my spiritual practice, but guided practice was nearly non-existent. I worried that I might go too far or do it the wrong way, and the books I picked up worried about that with me. So fasting became an emergency procedure instead of being as reasonable and comfortable as devotional reading and prayer. Then I converted. Lent has clear guidelines, a clear time line and in general all the help you need to get the season right. It is also the kind of thing you grow into. My first year I gave up hot chocolate. This doesn't sound like much unless you know me. The next year I went overboard and gave up more than I was ready to. This year I think I've got it right.
As we all streamed out of church this morning with ashes on our foreheads, I got to thinking about the blessing of going through Lent together. The few fasts I did as a Protestant I did alone and in secret. If you're Catholic it's hard to disguise Lent. It's encouraging to hear other people's ideas for what to give up and to know that you are not alone in your struggles. There is the real beauty of knowing that all around the world today my fellow Catholics are accepting the ashes and watching their meals. Unity is one of the things Christ put prominently on the agenda for Christians. It is one of my favorite things about Catholic life.
This year was the first time I got into the spirit of Fat Tuesday. I'm beginning to see it as a way of celebrating the things that are good before we give them up for something better. Before I'd always thought of those goods as less-thans but there is good in chocolate. It's not as good as Jesus, but the world he created for us still retains some of its charms. I've been gaining weight for a lot of reasons, and I have been too tired to do anything other than note the new number on the scale. It had started to feel impossible until Lent came over the horizon. "Ah, my friend, here is help known and proved." Like a big brother Lent put its arm around me and offered to shoulder some of my burden. A Catholic life is a disciplined life that slowly weaves the strength of Jesus into and around us one small choice at a time.

Happy 3/5 Birthday to Harriet!!!

I just finished up the third section of Harriet. My mind is beginning to turn to the style and content of the book though I still need to keep trucking with the basic framework of characters and plot. Feels good to be done. I thought I had another couple weeks, but suddenly the last words were being said and the curtain fell. It has potential. I'm really pleased.

It's the little things

I always wanted an electric toothbrush. To my eyes it was the height of luxury to have the toothbrush brush your teeth for you. Most Christmases I buy the kids one of those cute cartoon character versions, but I never bought one for me, until a month ago, when Kurt went with me to Sam's. A joint trip allows me to run ideas and non-budgeted purchases by him. I jokingly pointed out the adult motorized toothbrushes and he put it in the cart. Sometimes these things are better in one's imagination than they are in reality--not so the toothbrush. I love the luxury taking my time to allow each tooth their spin. What other stuff did I want as a kid?

My mother called wanting to know what I wanted for Christmas. I knew exactly what I wanted, right down to the personalization. There are certain splurges I struggle to fit into the budget and a fancy pen is one of them. A Christmas or two ago Mom and Dad bought me an ivory Levenger Truewriter. I asked that it be inscribed, Truth Alone, because I intended to (and still do) use it to do my creative writing. It's a great reminder to stick with what I know and what I know is true. I wanted another pen to use for my reading. I'm filling a commonplace book with all the great stuff I'm pulling out of the Great Books. That's a lot of writing and while I do my best to write "Truth Alone," I know that most of the time it's just my best guess. I think it's fair to assume that that was truth for these others who pushed us forward one idea at a time, so I asked for an obsidian, true wrtier engraved "Best Guess."

I'm not a big music person. I enjoy it, but I don't spend money on it--etc, so when Kurt passed down his ipod I couldn't find a purpose for it. I put some German tapes on it for the trip to Munich, but mostly it laid around looking for a reason to exist. Now, I've found it. Dance music is one of my loves, so I've put all my favorite songs that cause spontaneous dancing on that little white stick. It should be great for my workouts at the Aquatic Center, but it doesn't matter it lifts my mood and makes chores into workouts.

would've, should've

He could have come to Martha's with a generous save the date.
He could have come to Eden before it was too late.

He could have come to Westboro Baptist, the ultimate picket sign.
He could have rewound Sarah, wiping away the grime.

He could have replaced Bono as the leader of the band.
He could have floated down the Nile and skipped the Promised Land

He came between beginnings, our own Babe Truth.
He comes in the here and now to be our Eternal Proof.
He will come in glory, the great Judge Ruth

Would have? Should have? I dare not judge thee.
Praise the truncated trinity.

Postcard from the Center

See Chest

be not a Freud of kill her poetry
poets play Dickinson's lute
constructing an Eye Full Tower

In an Iliad frame of mind

Tonight we went out to see Sanctum. I was giving James Cameron an opportunity to redeem himself after Avatar. Redeem himself after an amazingly creative blockbuster hit? Yeah, you heard right. Put Myst and Halo in a blender and there you go. Terrific success--not much of a surprise really.
I was beginning to be beautifully bored, tearing apart the plot he wrote backwards, when Achilles murdered Patroclus. The hero character kept up the killing people for their own good right up to himself, though his son had to help him speed things up toward the end. The plot came from ancient literature but to call it derivative would sink all of us. It was interesting to hear ancient perspectives given full credence, but the longing for the "heroic" masculine "virtues" would have been more interesting if they were off to Mars. Now that's a great place to suffocate for exploration. Haven't we spent enough time in the cave?
And that's another thing. I've been trying to work some Freud in to my reading here and there. He livened up my beautiful boredom with many interesting ideas of his own. I'm still a little too fundamentalist to speak them out loud, but let's say I've never spent such a long time contemplating how intimidating, mysterious, and somewhat deadly women are to men or at least to James Cameron.
As always the film is beautiful and isn't that enough? maybe.

2 dollar cheat sheet

I set aside my Christian Prayer because I became frustrated that I just don't understand its internal logic. Completely dependent on the St. Joseph's Guide, I enjoyed the experience much the way I suppose a first-time skydiver enjoys the ride with his mentor strapped to his back. I was there. I did it, but I didn't really do that much. There was also the sneaky suspicion that the Guide, thorough as it is, took for granted that I knew a lot more than I do. It didn't help that the book I bought to explain Christian Prayer added still other procedures I didn't know. All that frustration stopped me from remembering why I was praying like this in the first place.
I was praying the hours because I loved it. The prayers and scriptures weave themselves into my day and slowly into my life. My life felt rejuvenated and healed. I should have known all my mounting pride was the real problem with Christian Prayer/Liturgy of the Hours. It's hard for me to be the newby. As a Baptist I not only had the theology down, I knew people. I'm used to being the smarty-pants. Now I stumble over the alternative Easter and Advent and Lent stuff. I'm still learning when I add these items in and when I leave them out. In any case the trail had gone so cold that I was surprised when Father Dan said I should get back to work on Christian Prayer. He showed me an amazing app that would do all the work for me if I had an ipad or an iphone. Who knew liturgical prayer would stir up such covetousness? There is no room in the budget for that at the moment, so I humbled myself and sent off for my old instructor--St. Joseph's Guide. It's only 2 bucks and it's changing my life--one sort of successful attempt at a time.

Read at your own risk.

Making the journey from evangelical/fundamentalist to Catholic was an amazing and intrinsically unique experience. Mostly I sit in my pew and wonder that I made it here at all. I wonder how I lived before this. Occasionally, it's nice to listen to the journey of others. This book is one of those books. David Currie is the real deal with all the important bona fides, just to hit the highlights, both of his parents taught at Moody Bible Institute. His journey isn't my journey, but for those who can't imagine how a well-trained evangelical can be led to the Catholic church, this might be a good start to understanding. Be warned though this isn't like Catholic and Christian. This is an evangelical speaking evangelical it has the potential to shake your beliefs.

Disney Princesses

Not exactly what I had in mind.

The Want Adds

Lilliputian cares
"So us"
To the Ground

C'est tres European, sort of.

Helping my kids succeed at their chores means making those chores as simple as possible. The more jobs that are no-brainers, the more we all live happily ever after. Making a twin bed can be a job for little bodies with short arms. Until now I've accepted any haphazard attempt at straightening, but I wished that the first chore on the list could be an easy winner. During our visit to Munich we stayed in a wonderful hotel and their bedding arrangements were so simple. You get pillows and each person has their own heavy duvet to arrange as they like. Making the bed was a simple matter of pulling the duvet's straight and fluffing the pillows. It was wonderful for sleeping and I imagine wonderful for the hotel staff.
I wanted to bring it home, but I got hung up on the duvet. The buttoned on cover would be terrific for tent building and other activities not related to sleep or good order. Never give children a giant bag that is, as far as they are concerned, a great place to stuff things. It wasn't until this Christmas that I finally figured out how to make it work for us--sleeping bags. Every kid has a fitted sheet, a pillow, and a sleeping bag. In the morning it's a simple matter of putting the pillow at the top and spreading out the sleeping bag. Everyone can do that and the bonus is that the sleeping bags are better suited to insulate the kids on cold Michigan nights.
We found the bags at Amazon for 25 dollars. The pillows were on special at Sam's and they worked out to 3 dollars a pillow and then I found a sheet set at Target for 12. That's 40 dollars a bed and well worth it.

Blinding

I'm still not sure why paintings and painters supply so much inspiration and ways of understanding the work I've set before myself. Without this crutch, I would struggle, perhaps to the point of giving up. Fellow writers, for the most part, cannot do more than overwhelm and confuse me. For Harriet I am somewhat on my own. Recently Harriet's pacing has been on my mind. I've known all along that I will be lucky to get a few good scenes and a solid understanding of my main characters out of this draft. On the one hand, there is just too much of the book, period, but a diet seems impossible. Faithful readers have said that my work is too minimalist and hard to follow. They are right, but I have struggled to think of a solution until I remembered Giorgione
I want my next draft to crackle like a lightening storm. I want to know my characters and plot so well that I can confidently convey the most important parts of the story in brief, strange leaps from one stroke of lightening to the next. Who knows if I can do it, but I'd rather be blinded by the light rather than feel along in the dark.