Fork in the Road?

Motherhood was priority number one when I was young. Once I made the fundamental choice of family over career, I did it with gusto. Six kids is not something that happens by itself, despite the frequent teasing we get. I've really tried hard to be certain that my children have access to me, that they get enough time to feel loved and heard. Homeschooling has been a big part of that, because we are together all day long. The only problem with that is that we are together all day long. ;)
This year is the first year that the numbers game felt overwhelming. Keeping five children on track while keeping the house in reasonable order and tending an infant can ratchet up my perfectionism beyond reasonable tolerances. The kids are getting better at fulfilling their responsibilities and Merry Maids is a Godsend, but I'm still falling back on Lamaze breathing some days. This is also the first year we have Co-op. The kids can't believe we've ever lived without it, and I'm inclined to agree even though it does force us to get school done in four days instead of five.
This Friday, Kurt took the kids and fulfilled my responsibilities at Co-op, so that I could prepare our home for a sleepover. I haven't been alone in this house, perhaps ever. Cleaning, caring for baby, it was all so easy with the five of them gone. My mind started to wonder--what if they were in school? If the kids went to school I could keep the house the way I like it. Working out would be easy, and the biggest temptation of all, I'd have time to write.
I knew writing was becoming important when I couldn't stop doing it. I kept finding myself sneaking off to work on a story. I knew the story had become important when I thought that our van had been stolen and I was far more concerned about my manuscript than I was about the van. Now I'm beginning to realize how serious I am about completing it as I keep showing up at my writer's group even though I know I'm going to take a pounding because my work isn't as polished as I'd like.
I want more time to write. Two or three hours every Saturday after Mass is not enough. All I can do is put the ideas on paper. Editing is going to have to wait, or I'll never get the initial draft done. I've got four-fifths of the book to go and I've been serious about this for three years. I don't think I'm ready to send the kids to school yet, but I'm struggling to see any other way to get some more writing time. I suppose I'll just have to live with what I've got.