Unresolved

 I finally noticed that I am the person who always gets booted, so that someone else can have the table, seat, etc. I don’t mind giving up my spot for medical reasons or disability reasons, but it should not be a forgone conclusion that I am the one moving when someone else returns from getting coffee expecting that the books they left splattered on the table have reserved their seat. Up until today it was always my assumption that if your butt wasn’t in the seat it wasn’t your seat. I have arranged everything about a visit around holding my spot, and if I had to get tea or whatever I hurried because my seat was at risk. If someone took my seat while I was gone I gathered my things, and gave up my time to work.

Today, for the first time, I sat at a book-splattered table and was about to settle in and work. Two souls returned from getting coffee, and when I asserted the laws of the table  jungle, they just pushed back and I gave them the table. I left feeling perhaps they were right until I was around the corner and thought of all the times I’d returned from the cafe or shelves and given up my seat for lost. I am being taken advantage of. I’m tempted to go back and explain to them that just because I’m a nice little old lady doesn’t mean they loll around getting snacks and such and expect the table to sit empty when it could be useful. The thing is I think about how much I value the atmosphere at B&N. What if my frustration is a tipping point? I did give them a stern reminder to get their snacks first.

I don’t know what my behavior will be in the future. I dislike making trouble, but I hate it when things are unfair and inefficient. I know I will be thinking about what is fair to me more than I have in the past.

Arrows

A door opened

A loan was offered

A curd showed the whey

All points to me

Redeeming Time with Sarah, the Stitchin’ Mommy

 Flosstube was the second circle of Youtube that drew me in and met needs. I watch lots of Flosstube channels. Stitchin’ Mommy stands out because of Sarah’s emphasis on order, her goal orientation and the wide variety of kinds of cross stitch work. She’s very professional laying out how much time will go to which projects, but she’s not shy about starting new things. Her skill set is the widest I’ve seen taking us from basic cross stitches to a sampler that requires several new stitches for each letter of the alphabet. She does beading and often finishes her own pieces.

Some Flosstube channels focus on a single type of cross stitch work such as samplers or full-coverage. Sarah does a little bit of everything including creating her own designs, and she frequently mixes things up. If I did a Flosstube channel everyone would die of boredom because I’m project monogamous and I take forever to make progress. Sarah’s got lots of interesting work, and her work ethic puts her close to a finish most updates.

Sarah was the first Flosstuber I saw using a calendar to plan when her next stitch would be. Since then there have been a few specialized cross stitch calendars, but as I saw it Sarah was the first. She is still one of few that plan when they will stitch next instead of what stitching has been done. I will never have such a life, but I admire it greatly.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvF4EjBW6Hp3E_9YG3ezEGw

https://www.etsy.com/shop/StitchinMommy

More Rigid

 

Why don’t we limit plastic formulas to four or five designs until the Global Warming Crisis is over and we are used to recycling? We would allow for a medical exception of course, but all other plastic packaging should be confined to a reasonable pallet of easily recycled plastic formulations. No, this won’t be popular, but in a time of crisis difficult measures become necessary. All of those plastic tubs of this and that could go right back to use once their initial purpose was fulfilled. It may put a temporary strain on the imaginations of packaging designers, but it will take a great strain off our consciences.

Beautifully Ugly

Women were meant to be beautiful or sexy in the films I was raised on. Even if a girl was unattractive to start; fate, a girlfriend or a guy wanting to win a bet would step in and fix her up. I found my introduction to the beauty in the ugly at the National Gallery of Art with their still lives featuring decaying fruits and flowers. Things didn’t have to be pretty to be beautiful. 

Two films have brought me back to this idea, Everything, Everywhere, All-at-once and Lou. The first is an absurdist film that scrambles reality. It’s message about the beauty of ordinary life emerges from the experience of all the other options. I find myself returning to the feeling I had when the mother and daughter reconcile. It is a very naughty film because it samples everything, so if that is going to bother you don’t watch it. If you can hang with naughtiness, you will be well rewarded with a new perspective on your life. It’s an ugly movie, kind of the antithesis to Life is Beautiful, but it gets to the same point. I love it.

Lou is a Netflix film, and Lou is never going to be beautiful or sexy. She’s a strong, masculinized woman who never really needed the girl thing. She was a mother because it had been useful. She knew her skill set and she puts it to use. Lou does all the things that Clint Eastwood would do with no apology for her gender. She saves the day because she is so tough. You forgive her for not knowing what to do with her son until fate leaves her only one option. Her love is rugged and no less real for that.

These are ugly, beautiful, women’s movies. 

 

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

 Every year I try to bake something for my neighbors. Sometimes they are a huge success; sometimes they are an epic fail—I’m looking at you mini bundt cakes. This year’s offering is kind of middling. The original idea was to do a lot of different kinds of cookies that were easier to bake, but I find keeping all those recipes straight strenuous. I was giving up, so I went to JoAnn’s. JoAnn’s often has some little thing that will inspire me. I was in the right place. 

I collect Comfort Grip Cookie Cutters. They haven’t been putting out new ones very frequently lately. I always check at all the stores, but not much output. I was in line at JoAnn’s when someone exclaimed “That’s what I was looking for.” I looked over and there in the front of the store with all the seasonal on sale were what looked to be four new Comfort Grip Cookie Cutters. They are actually from a company called “Stir.” They look the same. They cut the same. They got me thinking. Rolled and cut cookies are a little tedious, but I have a very flexible sugar cookie recipe. I could make dough after dough without changing measurements and only minor changes in ingredients. I bought the Stir Cookie Cutters and headed home.

It was tiring, but I did the doughs one night and the baking the next. I changed up the flavors by adding lemon zest, crushed candy cane, crushed Werthers, crushed Red Hots, dutch processed cocoa, and then I used Marcia Adam’s Gingerbread Dough. (I could have made ginger flavored sugar cookies, but I love the Marcia Adams recipe.) They were delicious and can be manipulated into sort of a scene if you leave out the enormous penguin. :)

It’s fun to push for a gratuitous project each year. We have great neighbors.

The Forbidding Forest

I try to tell the truth.

The truth ain’t poplar.

Men frighten me.

Jesus is an exception.

He knows about trees.

We visit once a week.

A pine planted himself between me and Jesus

“Men aren’t scary,” he growled.

I looked up to Jesus.

He stretched out his arms and we sighed.