The sad tale of the enmity between the Hatfields and McCoys stains the strong bonds forged in Appalachian families and between families. I was the fourth living generation of my family and I was carefully trained to choose my friends wisely because you weren’t only committing yourself to a friendship, you were committing the whole family. When I think about that and the way they let me go and make friends and live that out with all its hits and misses I am amazed. I also wish I could give that experience to my children. I can give them the freedom to go find their own friends, but I can’t give them the umbrella of safety of my friendships nor the ratifying comfort of adopting their friends. Life is different here in the midwest. I can see how the looser bonds have the advantage of not pulling people into terrible feuds, but I think the loss of community to our communities might not be worth it.
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