Puzzled

One time I was on something like a retreat that was supposed to be relaxing.  Activities of many kinds were everywhere including a table full of puzzles.  Now you need to know this was a low budget operation so the puzzles were missing many pieces.  There were at least four started and scattered around the table, and two of the box tops with the full picture were missing.  Trying to sort that out was impossible and the opposite of relaxing.

Today I thought, "I don't understand myself at all."  It's the most hope I've had for growing up in a long time.  When I think I understand something I can always pick out the next step, but what I pick is tainted by my flaws and wrong desires.  If I finally get it, that I don't get me, I might be able to get out of the way and let God have control.  I might grow up.  What an exciting day in a confusing life.  I don't need the box top with the full picture.  I need to trust his hands.