St. Teresa of Avila

 

I read The Book of My Life for Lent, and found it anything but lenten. She is funny and smart and always focused on the point. It was a wonderful beginning for a study of the mystics. Here's some of the bounty I found along the way.

for me. "That's why it can be such an intense relief to see yourself described in a book. It's affirming to discover that you are on the right path after all."

for J. "All I needed to know was that God was in charge of everything.

for T. "It is clear that all the Beloved wants of us is humility and holy bewilderment. He wants us to accept what we are given and praise the one who gives it."

for H. "This kind of self-loathing is one of the spirit of evil's most insidious, painful and deceptive tricks. I'm warning you about this so that if he tries to tempt you in this way, you will have the foresight to recognize it. Don't think it's a matter of of academic learning or theological knowledge. Even though I am impoverished in these areas, the minute I escape from his clutches, it is obvious to me that my negative feelings were goundless."

for S. "I began to talk to The Lord in that silly way of mine. I don't know what I'm saying when this happens. It's love that's talking. My soul becomes so transported that I can no longer tell any difference between her and God."

for N. "Pay no attention to the scarecrows the spirit of evil sets up to frighten us. Remember, every time we ignore them, they grow weaker and we gain more mastery."

for K. "Once when I was especially worried about this, The Lord spoke to me. "What are you afraid of?" he asked. "Only one of two things could come of it. People will either criticize you or praise me." He explained that the people who believed in the experience would praise him and those who didn't would condemn me. It wasn't my problem. Either way, the outcome would benefit me, so I shouldn't be anxious."

for R. "The fact is I have so little time to give to this writing certainly does not help my ability to be able to explain this very well. Therefore, his Majesty must come to my rescue. Living in a house that was so recently founded, I am inundated with community duties and other related business. I can only write in fits and spurts, and I can never really settle down into it. I wish I had more space to write, because when The Lord gives me inspiration, the words flow with great ease and clarity. Then writing is just like sketching a model that is sitting right in front of me.
But when inspiration is lacking, it doesn't matter how many years a person might have spent in prayer, my words make no more sense that if I were speaking Arabic, as the saying goes. And so it seems to me that my only hope is to enter a state of prayer while I am writing. That's when I can clearly see that I am not the one doing the writing. I'm not the one planning out in my mind what I'm going to say nor do I understand afterward how I managed to say it at all. This happens to me often."

for us all. "I wish that the five [8] of us friends who love each other in Christ could make a pact. We would gather together on a regular basis for the purpose of freeing each other from illusion. We would suggest ways in which each of us could improve our relationship with God. No one knows himself as well as someone close to him who observes him with love and concern for his spiritual growth.

Cross Raising

GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD," John writes, "that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." That is to say that God so loved the world that he gave his only son even to this obscene horror; so loved the world that in some ultimately indescribable way and at some ultimately immeasurable cost he gave the world himself. Out of this terrible death, John says, came eternal life not just in the sense of resurrection to life after death but in the sense of life so precious even this side of death that to live it is to stand with one foot already in eternity. To participate in the sacrificial life and death of Jesus Christ is to live already in his kingdom. This is the essence of the Christian message, the heart of the Good News, and it is why the cross has become the chief Christian symbol. A cross of all things—a guillotine, a gallows—but the cross at the same time as the crossroads of eternity and time, as the place where such a mighty heart was broken that the healing power of God himself could flow through it into a sick and broken world. It was for this reason that of all the possible words they could have used to describe the day of his death, the word they settled on was "good." Good Friday.

Frederick Buechner

Intercessions for Holy Thursday

The Father anointed Christ with the Holy Spirit to proclaim forgiveness to those in bondage. Let us humbly call upon the eternal priest:
– Lord, have mercy on us.

You went up to Jerusalem to suffer and so enter into your glory,
bring your Church to the Passover feast of heaven.
– Lord, have mercy on us.

You were lifted high on the cross and pierced by the soldier’s lance,
heal our wounds.
– Lord, have mercy on us.

You made the cross the tree of life,
give its fruit to those reborn in baptism.
– Lord, have mercy on us.

On the cross you forgave the repentant thief,
forgive us our sins.
– Lord, have mercy on us.

From The Divine Office

Packing My Bag

I decided about three minutes after Mea was born that my grandkids would call me "Grammy."

The title honors my great grandmother without replacing her.  I fell in love with Granny as an infant. If she was in the room I cared for no one else.  When I was four, she came to stay with us after we lost my brother.  In one month she moved my mother from non-functioning despair to spunky assertiveness.  

The day Granny went home was such a lovely day what with Mother back from the dead and all.  I did fine until the last minute when Granny started walking up the gangway for her plane.  I jerked my hand out of Daddy's and ran after her.  "I need one for the road," I said.  She gave me one of her patented kisses and I ran back to Mother and Dad.

Granny was always filling my emotional bag with treasure.  Her keen awareness that after her life was done, mine would go on, led her to think about what she could send forward with me.   Sometimes it was physical things like a Children's Bible with a lovely note inside the cover or a gold watch for graduation.  She finished my wedding quilt before I finished high school.  Sometimes it was stories of all kinds from family history or experiences like a train ride. Sometimes it was special things to do with chldren, songs, recipes, games, crafting skills.  She said that I should always lose a game or two of checkers to young children so that they won't get discouraged.  I'll never know if she said that because I'd won.

I try to do the same things for my kids, but my success is not as complete.  I don't worry too much about that, after all these guys are only the warm up.

Repeatedly

There are some movies that we think will be a hit that find themselves tucked in a binder pocket never to be watched again and then there are those movies we can never find because we watch them over and over.  Here are some some of those must find movies at our house.

In the early days of this blog I didn't feel comfortable posting my photograph, so I posted under an image of Ginger from Chicken Run.  She is clever, loving and determined to triumph over evil, so I still think it fits.  If the kids have this movie on, I generally switch to folding laundry, so I can watch it for the sixteenth time without guilt.

Up is so beautiful, and who doesn't love the beginning sequence?  Each pearl in this movie is carefully laid before the audience so that you are never under or overwhelmed.  The Squirrel gag never gets old at our house because our yard is overrun with squirrels, ok, I find it a tad old when I'm teaching.

I am a huge Hammy fan.  The funniest animated sequence of all time is when they give Hammy the can of soda and the world goes still.  The rest of the movie is a pleasure too.  I am most like Verne,
and I'm always rooting for him.  Over the Hedge still engages me, and that's impressive considering
how often I've watched it.

If Chicken Run is my big draw, Despicable Me is Kurt's.  When we can't agree on what to watch this one satisfies us all.  We cannot wait for the sequel.  The minions are worth the price of admission by themselves.  They should have a "how many eyes would you have if you were a minion" joke on the extras disc.  I think I'd have three.  

These are my can't miss movies.  Enjoy.

Sagrada Familia

Kurt was born in Spain eleven days before I was born in the mountains of Maryland.  We never considered visiting his natal country when we were younger because there was some concern he might be drafted by the Spanish military.  That is no longer a problem and the more I think about it, I think it would be a spectacular trip when Kurt retires.  I'll admit that a Sixty Minutes report on the Sagrada Familia might have been a nudge, and my growing fascination with St. Teresa of Avila didn't hurt, but the more I learn about Spain the more I want to learn.

The big draw is the Sagrada Familia.  It's got faith.  It's got art.  It's got architecture.  It is very, very, very, Catholic.  I love all the parts.  I'm not as in love with the whole, but since it isn't whole yet I feel it will grow on me.  It calls out to my soul, and I'm learning to trust that feeling.

As a person in love with all things medieval, I think I would love Avila for itself, but the number of things that are preserved from the life of St Teresa make it irresistible.  

The Prado is a prize and near the Air Force base where Kurt was born.  All the descriptions of the Spanish Riviera make it sound like after I've walked his legs off, we might have fun on the beach.  The food sounds spectacular, and I want to sample the products of such an ancient mingled culture.  There might be clues for today.

Two Feet on the Ground

I like my emotions in the mid-range. Problem is my emotion sensing equipment is overly sensitive. Discovering that the last hot dog bun is only partially moldy is roughly equivalent to getting into the college of my dreams. Dropping a glass and watching it shatter is like finding a cancerous lesion. It is all too much, so I tend to work with my feelings on the emotional layaway plan. Everything gets wrapped in cheesecloth, packed in a sieve and put on the back shelf to mingle with everything else to hopefully create a nicely modulated life experience. As with most things, some blends are better than others, but it's all great cheese for my art.
While this system makes things easier for me, it's hard on Kurt. Am I smiling because he's home or because I am remembering Canterbury Cathedral? Am I sad because I lost my car keys or because someone shot Malala Yousafzai? Sometimes I don't know either. Sometimes it doesn't really matter.  So, if you come to tell me I've won the lottery and all I say is "Wow, that's great."  I'll be dancing sometime next year.

You know you're old when...

This is one of my favorite movies. I love the characters. What a great moment for an update.

Briar Patch

Retreat! The drooling starts with a picture of a bed and a desk in a room, for me to enjoy all by myself. Usually it takes a full nervous breakdown for me to have that kind of luxurious privacy. It continues with various reminders that this is a quiet experience. Have I mentioned my six kids? Then there is all the property to explore, and the places for contemplation. St. Lazare's is located on the outskirts of the village where I live. Our motto is "Where nature smiles for seven miles." I'm looking forward to some nature. Free time to read and pray and write alternates various opportunities for worship, and I need to worship, especially in my quiet, introverted way. There will even be confession which is a great tune up right before Easter.
Lots of Jesus, lots of time to get back in step, this is the way it should be, and I don't have to be Brer Rabbit to know it.