All this work with ancient literature has reminded of another time I stood up for the seemingly antiquated when I insisted on the ancient language of the marriage ceremony. I wanted to incorporate the courage and wisdom of those words into our new life. Our pastor called us in for a special discussion about that, and his feeling that modern people understood ancient liturgy in ways that seemed to allow loop-holes in the marriage contract. He started to deliver a lengthy explanation about why he was going to insist on the modern version when he began to notice the lock step my fiancée and I were in about the permanence of marriage. Every question, he found not only our answers acceptable, but also our attitudes. So with the occasional halt and stumble he married us, with as ancient a liturgy as was acceptable to our community.
Marriage is long. Covenants stretch thin along with our resources, and there are moments when you look at each other and ask are you still in? Like everybody we've been through a lot,and last year we both felt wobbly. Fearfully, I looked to him and asked "Are you still up for this?" His face furrowed as he asked, "Are you?" I cannot describe the relief to both of us when the answer from both was yes. We're still at it. No one is looking for loopholes. Things can be tough, but it's still better together. I still love him best. In some ways that moment was better than our wedding day.
1 comment:
Marriage can be really tough and my husband and I have had our wobbly moments too. You just have to keep reminding yourself, during those wobbly times that you are a team and that 99% of the time you work really well together. Ultimately, when you really think about it though, if you took the time to choose a good man, one who is loyal, hard working, honest and faithful, then you are lucky and in a good place.
That's how I try to think of it at any rate. hugs xx
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