Worn out

My birthday comes on the first day of summer. It's always made me feel special. To me, growing older means becoming more precious, because I loved my elders so much. My parents gave me my grandmother's Bible this year. It is crammed full of her personality and faith. Like the sword of all good Baptists, it is falling apart. 

I had all four grandparents and my great-grandmother until my final semester of college when I lost my grandfather and continuing until my first baby was born--a span of four years. I needed the powerful ups of college graduation, marriage, and pregnancy to counter such powerful downs. Mea was my greatest comfort after all that loss. Slowly the wheels are turning again as my beloved children start leaving me to create lives of their own. 

I've begun pouring my life into books, because that is my personality. The Bible will always be primary, but I was designed to study. I look forward to showing my grandchildren how many books I've worn out. I hope that they will wear out many of their own, because that is my faith.

Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything

It was a nice year. I raised a grown up. The other five conveniently remained needy. I deepened a lot of friendships. I finally came up with a great excuse for reading the classics. I began to understand my life in new ways.

Happy Birthday to me! I am no longer the answer to life the universe and everything, but you can only carry a responsibility like that for so long. :)

Smelling Like My Granny

The first time I got a whiff of White Shoulders was probably an hour or two after I was born. My great-grandmother, Edna Pearl Root Durr Spotts, wore it and over time it became a favorite scent, signifying peace and order. It has a certain pizzazz that has maintained it's popularity since 1943. I gave in and bought a bottle. What a great anxiety reducer. Some part of my brain turns on the chill out juice as soon as the spray hits the air, which is impressive to someone as high-strung as I am.

I hope someday, 20 years after my death there are people to whom a small reminder of me can lift their heaviest mood. I hope I can heal others as she did.

Saline or Ann Arbor?

I ran off on a romantic trip with my romantic man. We need a new house near his new job, and I needed a better idea of the lay of the land. He was more than happy to show me around especially without the kids. For us the choices are boiling down to lots of space, but a little out of the way--Saline, and less space, but nearly immediate access to globally appealing amenities--Ann Arbor. There's also smaller exemplary school system--Saline, and an enormous exemplary school system Pioneer.

We'll take it one house at a time.

And Away She Goes

Marguerite Eloise graduated yesterday. The ceremony was lovely, and we were all so proud of our kids. Mea was a Senior Scholar which means she graduated with highest honors. She plans on studying neuroscience at the University of Michigan. Watching her congratulate all of her friends and carry out all the rituals and traditions was encouraging because I know she will carry forward the energy into this next more demanding phase of life. 

Congratulations, Mea! I always knew you could do it and I knew you could do it well.

I'm Sorry, Mom.

Two weeks ago my youngest son had to be hauled out of mass during the Eucharist by his Protestant sister.  As she made her way to the door, he shouted, " I'm sorry, Mom!" over and over. Most of us repent when we're about to face the music, and most of that doesn't stick.

Today, my son, without prompting, packed a bag of goodies to keep him happy and busy during Mass. When he forgot it, he was distraught, but decided he could try with just a squishy worm toy. He had a few hiccups, but mostly he did all right. I explained and reminded. He listened and made corrections.

I didn't expect him to have such a big change of heart and a willingness to work at doing it differently. What a great example he's setting for me.

Cheery

I spent today looking through a bunch of home listings, and I have to say it cheered me up. I love our house now, but I discovered if we get really crazy we can have it built again, only with the laundry separate from the powder room and more storage in the kitchen. There are a lot of options each rich with possibilities. Kurt kept telling me this, but it takes me a while to shift gears.

For me, an inspiring object helps. I bought this bird a week or two ago. Something about it spoke to my hopes about our move, and I have a feeling it will be right at home in our new place. She'll help me remember to live, love, laugh and be happy.

I can see the light in the future a little more clearly.