My Personal Fab Five

Everybody needs good advice from their friends.  These literary figures have long been my good friends, so much so that I call them Aunt or Uncle depending.  These are not my favorite saints.  That's a whole different thing.  This is more about camaraderie than hero worship, though I'll admit to a little hero worship.

Tante Corrie (Ten Boom)
The consequences for her sympathy for others are horrific, but no matter how much else she lost, she never lost this basic instinct of caring for others in trouble.  I want to be as brave and forgiving as she was.

 Auntie Jane (Austen)
She pushed herself to write for publication, but never lost her own voice.  I want to be published.

Aunt Flan(nery O'Connor)
She woke me up and made writing seem like something worth doing.  I never understood what redemption meant until The Violent Bear It Away.  Now I can't stop looking at it--through parted fingers, but still.

Uncle Jack (C. S. Lewis)
His tape started running in my head when Dad started reading me The Chronicles of Narnia at two and finally left off reading me Lewis with That Hideous Strength when I was off to get married at twenty-three.  I marvel at how he shapes my mind, down to a fascination with medieval literature.  I hope to learn his kindness.

Uncle Frebby (Frederick Buechner)
He is my only living model, which was quite a comfort when I was lonely.  He is so patient with his faults and honest about discussing them.  I grew up in a world where flaws were hidden or everyone was too intimidated to state the obvious.  I want to be that genuine. 

Until Epiphany

I hate hard deadlines.  I feel so flustered, and there is nothing in the year of family life with a harder deadline than Christmas.  You have to gather it all up, decorate it all up, and party it up before the 25 gets here.  When it's past midnight and I'm still wrapping, it feels as though only death has a firmer though unknown end point. I was chatting with a friend about Christmas work, when it occurred to me that I'm a Catholic now--a Catholic Christmas starts Christmas Eve and keeps right on going into early January.  My timeline suddenly felt generous.  I find that deadline extension comforting, even though I'll still need to get the presents wrapped and the fancy clothes organized by the day, I will have a luxurious amount of time to reflect on the meaning of the season and Christ's place in my life.
Sometimes preparing for death seems as crammed and crowded as Christmas.  We have so much to do, to be, to share, and things get behind.   My first priest said that Purgatory is an acknowledgement that we die with sin and that that must be cleaned away.  How comforting!  I'd hate to show up in the Lord's presence still dragging this crap along.  A chance to "shower and change into his righteousness" is just the thing.  Purgatory is a deadline extension. a chance to reflect on the meaning of life and Christ's place in it.

Catching Up

My childhood was rather extraordinarily sheltered.  Adulthood opened a few doors, but mostly my life was all about following the pattern laid out from birth to death.  The only possible adventure would be the return of Christ, and while other people hailed it with joy, I figured they hadn't really thought through all that Tribulation stuff.
The voice of the Holy Spirit whispers gently to the root-bound, and I had numerous moments when I thought I heard something and found myself in trouble with the adults in my life.  They were sure they knew what the Holy Spirit might or might not say.  What I thought I'd heard wasn't likely or even possible.  So they said.
For me one of the global differences between Protestant as I experienced it and Catholic is that Catholics expect to be surprised.  They are open to Mary dropping off a message or some other improbable happening, and I love that.  While they have every confidence in the Word of God, they don't shrink God's work down to a contract.  Instead of closing their eyes and resting in God's peace they keep their eye's sharp looking for the work of God and for their place in it. 
Becoming a Catholic was for me, a Holy Spirit as Gandalf moment.  I was sitting there in my garden smoking a pipe, when he scratched a secret message on my heart, "Do or die time," so I did.  For me, becoming a Catholic was like Bilbo running straight out the green door.  I am having an adventure.

Comforting or Creepy?

This is my brother's gravestone.  My parent's bought it after the terrible trial of losing an infant.  The money hadn't been easy to spare, but it made it easier to leave him in Michigan when a job came up in West Virginia.  I was careful to pay attention to the details so that I could find him if I ever came back.  The other day I was googling the names of people I know, and there it was, little lost lamb and all.  I felt two things immediately, relief--"there you are" and anger--"how dare they!"
The relief stemmed from the moment of connection with this little person gone, a sense that, in a world of shifting electrons something had stayed put.  I can visit and scrub the headstone and plant things that never survive.  I will admit that since I found this picture I have returned periodically to view it and remember.
The anger comes in that, anyone with Google can go there too.  This is our private grief and no one else's business.  Shouldn't there be some protection for this sacred place?  How dare some camera enthusiast  fill an empty Saturday snapping up pictures of loss and grief?  I cannot move into the graveyard with my brother's body, his body cannot stay with me.  Please do not abuse the middle ground between us.
Then I remembered visiting Starnberg, Germany and my fascination with the graveyards.  The beauty of the expressions of love inspired and comforted me.  The comparative sterility of American graves seemed rather sad.  I took tons of pictures and they are still my favorite tokens of Starnberg.  I suppose the balance is this-- he is my brother, my only brother and he's gone, that's personal--my grief is universal and I share it with everyone.  If the photo was taken in such a spirit, it took nothing it didn't own.

A Package of Crayons

I love connecting people with each other or with useful stuff.  I have an internal list of things I'm looking for and it makes my life feel like a scavenger hunt.  Carol Bennett made my list when she described dashing out of the shower to write down an idea.  She'd been out of the market for children's tub toys for a while, so she was surprised to hear that such things as tub crayons and markers existed.  Ever since I've been looking for the crayons at the right time and price and tonight I found them, there's only one problem , Carol is gone.  

Cancer took her away.  The last time I saw her she seemed to be beating it handily, but then along came an email from Pat, the West Michigan Writer's Workshop Goodwill Ambassador, with the news that cancer had suddenly won.  I don't do death very well, so I've been struggling with this loss of a friend who wasn't close but still mattered.  

Tonight though as I think about the crayons, I'm realizing that I need to go back and get those crayons and park them in my shower.  It's the thing she taught me--to value inspiration, to get it down, before she's gone.

Courses I Have Loved

The Great Courses from The Teaching Company were something I let sit on my radar for far too long.  If you like to learn new things, this is the company for you.  As a homeschool parent, this is a source of grade A information without the grade A strain.  My first purchase, like most things, was for the kids, but now I've collected a good number of courses that were just for me.
They are so good I usually watch or listen to them more than once.  Here are some of the courses I got for me.
Building Great Sentences ****This  course was a bit of a stretch as my preferred writing style is to cut everything down rather than build up.  I'm finding it challenging and handy to do it another way.
Optimizing Brain Fitness ****I like the way Professor Restak uses all the tricks to enhance how much we retain of his lectures.  This is a short course, but very helpful.
Effective Communication Skills *****This course is the first one Kurt bought for himself.  It's been amazing what we've learned and all the ways that the information can be applied.
How to Read and Understand Poetry*****I bought this on audio because the sale price was that good.  I've listened to it twice so far.  The professor's sense of humor keeps this course interesting and moving along.
From Plato to Post-modernism *****Filled in a lot of holes in my education as well as sparking real interest in the subject.  I read Hegel on the strength of one lecture.  Wonderful class on Literary Criticism
Reason and Faith:  Philosophy in the Middle Ages *****The illustrations in this class are so helpful and stay with you when you encounter the material in other settings.  Beautiful, just the right size for getting into the subject without going in over your head.
The Life and Writings of C.S. Lewis *** I think it would have been better if I hadn't cut my teeth on all things Lewis, literally, Dad read me Narnia when I was a toddler.  I'd outgrown this course before I took it.
The Great Ideas of Philosophy, 2nd Edition *****Excellent for recreational viewing and as a reference work.  Dr. Robinson is exactly what you want in a philosophy professor, charming, knowledgeable, and certain without being assertive.
Great Authors of the Western Literary Tradition ***** Excellent team teaching effort.  I loved each section and hated moving on to the next.  These professors care so much that their subjects can still move them to tears.  Great overview and sampler if you're looking for some new reading material.

Cross Road

I fight my Way to the dead ends
still short of the horizon, 
back I go

the Sacred Heart holds all light
holds everything

X marks the Singularity

Dibs on Reepicheep!

I love giraffes.  They are beautiful and awkward and far sighted, so this road sign had my immediate attention and has held my thoughts for several weeks.  I don't have the patience to study through the "No Labels" website to see where I agree and where I disagree, but the folly of our current stand off is so obvious it reminds me of Reepicheep's cry of "Stop fighting!  Push!" 
Even when everything is in such chaos, some of the best people I know won't even shake hands with some of the other best people I know, at least not without Purell nearby.  I have a friend who is uncompromising on the issue of safety--he will keep you safe, whether you like it or not.  His dedication and passion encourage me and make me feel safer.  On the other hand, I have a friend who picks up those people who have already been trampled by life and helps them find a way back to breathing.  His compassion inspires me.
Getting those two in the same room is unlikely, but if I could get them talking about Chinese food or something, I think they would like each other and see that their hearts and goals are similar.  What they might never acknowledge is that they need each other.  That the world at large needs them both.
"Stop fighting!  Push!"

You Are So Right!

I've decided it's time to have a little faith in me, just a little, not a lot.  I've decided to listen to those things I tell myself all day long and to affirm the good ones.  So I listen then I say, clearly and with authority, "You are so right!"  I didn't expect it to be such a mixed bag.

I have an obvious interest in Medieval Literature

The Consolation of Philosophy might not be a great work, but it's awfully handy

The second section of my novel should divide into three sub-sections

A severed corpus callosum would be a bad thing.

A missing cerebral hemisphere would be worse

Jimmy has to wear pants

Cheese is delicious

It is sad that I need to encode my life experiences in poetry before I feel comfortable expressing them

A shortage of evidence makes deciding hard

Eating should be an unshakeable right that no one can deny

Education should follow eating pretty lickety split

In this day, there are no local politics

Don't buy a pig in a poke

Being a Catholic is an open admission of my inner world view

Regular pencils are so much better than mechanical ones

Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts

Always look out for your friends

Valley Voice

Attractive
          as strained fly soup
Nutritious
          nonetheless 
Inviting
          like a kick to the head
Truthful
          nonetheless 
Desirable
         as a partial drowning
Valuable
         nonetheless 

Easy Like Friday Morning

The truth is it isn't easy, not easy at all.  My love affair with dawn is long ended and clawing my way up to a reasonable consciousness that can not only motivate four children to get ready for the day but to go out for the day is a big deal.  It is even tougher because I'm teaching first hour this session, so I've got to have all my stuff and get there early enough to prep.  Is it worth it?  Completely.  We've all made wonderful friends.  I've had a chance to remember the pleasure of being part of something bigger than myself.  Oh, yeah, and we've learned a bunch of stuff.
Lake Michigan Home Schooling Cooperative is a wonderful organization that my friend, Julie DeBlanc--that's her in the picture--introduced me to.  At that time I was fiercely independent not wanting anyone's influence, but I like Julie and she came from a perspective that didn't encroach on mine at all.  I visited one Friday and I was hooked.  There were about 70 kids, all moving around in an orderly, purposeful manner.  There was a wide variety of topics in the classes and there were offerings for every age group so that I could really participate and know my kids were all OK.
I remembered how much I like teaching and I taught everything from a preschool class on vowels, to Learn to Write the Novel Way, to Medieval Women.
This session I'm teaching Medieval Monasticism to third through sixth graders.  My student are dream students, eager to learn and quick to remember.  I combined the information (gleaned from The Age of the Cloister, The Rule of St. Benedict, The Habit, A Medieval Monk, Life in a Medieval Monastery, The Working Life--A Medieval Monk, among others.) about life as a monk or nun in the medieval period with the lives of famous monks and nuns and a personal call to a life of work and prayer.  I lecture through the topic of the day--becoming a monk, the abbot, the Divine Hours, then we take a look at the saint of the day which I provide them with a short bio and a picture on a laminated card like sports cards.  We take a break for a song or an activity--Calced vs. Discalced Foot Race, etc.  Then we finish by taking on another level of responsibility on our work and prayer card.  I set up a laminated kids chore card with prayer time and simple, basic chores that we are taking on one step at a time.  This is my favorite class so far.  The enthusiasm of medieval monks is inspiring and the variety of its expression is fascinating.

Soft Wear

We ended our third week of homeschooling, and it's time to look at curriculum.  I'm loving it.  I may adjust Jimmy's work, but not until I give him a little longer to adapt to the Kindergarten work we're doing.  Everybody else seems to be on target.
The morning starts with Bible.  For a while I was in such a spin from all that had happened in my life I wasn't really sure what to teach the kids, but I'm settled in now.  The Big Picture Bible Time Line provides a coloring sheet while I read the kids a story out of the International Children's Bible.  We follow this up by learning prayers from the Catholic Prayer Book for Children.
Language A I divide and conquer.  My middles read books and write a summary of their reading in composition books.  Jimmy makes a stab at A Reason for Handwriting, while Peter and I work on his writing using Writing With Ease and First Language Lessons.  They are so simple and direct.  It makes our time together easy and fun.
Science alternates between Physics and Our Universe, a Teaching Company video, and experiments from Science in a Nutshell, Energy and Motion, from Delta Education  I have been shopping for the Science in a Nutshell kits since I was single, kindergarten teacher.  Kurt said this was the year, and he was so right!  When they say everything is in the kit, they mean everything including three great journals for the kids to record their observations in. Science has always been one of our favorites, but this year is a highlight.
Math A everyone is working on their own, except for Jimmy who will finish the sheet if I keep it moving.  He's also enjoying the manipulatives.  Peter is working through Horizons, but we put the girls on Switched On Schoolhouse for math.  They needed the immediate feedback and we needed the instant grading, so far it's a hit.
Lunch is my workout.  It leaves the treadmill free for Kurt in the evening and gives me an endorphin high to get through the afternoon.
History I have lost my Zuzu.  She is reading A History of the American People, which is one of my favorite general histories because the author is British and brings his British sense of humor to the task.  She is making a note at the end of each paragraph and seems to be understanding and enjoying the book.  The rest of us are plugging away at the third installment of Story of the World.  They are each writing a summary according to their ability, and I feel lucky if Jim will sit for the reading.  Thursday we all gather for our Early American History lecture from The Teaching Company.  Professor Linwood Thompson is terrific teaching the course in costume.  We can't wait for Thursday.  Teaching Company videos take some of the pressure off and I don't feel so alone.
Math B is more of Math A except for Jimmy who works on his Horizons Phonics with me.  Some of it he gets, some of it is way over his head, but every week he makes progress.
Language B is the middle's turn to be the center of attention.  We are using Write Source and enjoying the departure from the small publishers we usually purchase.  The curriculum is also used as a back up at Spring Lake Middle School which will hopefully ease their eventual transition.  Peter uses this time to read stories from vintage Open Court and to answer the questions in a comp book.
I end the day grading all the comp books and creating spelling lists.  I give individual feedback and keep track of who has homework, while they do their handwriting, from A Reason for Handwriting
I'm happy with this program.  It's something we can realistically expect to finish and to get good final results.

Thank You, James.

I am trying to read all the Great Books, plus Eastern books of similar intent and wisdom.  It's a daunting task, especially for some one who even her hobbies are other kinds of work.  A few years ago, I had nearly given up and then Jimmy finished potty training and  personal space and time began trickling back to me.  I still can't seem to get more than fifteen minutes in a row to read, but before it was ten.  Every step he takes toward independence sets me free.  I've been looking at the sad side for far too long, but it's time to look at the new hope.  Someday I will have all the time in the world to linger over books, and man, am I looking forward to it.

Hard Wear

This time of year homeschooling is all-consuming.  I kicked the kids out of the basement a few weeks ago and hung curtains to disguise the new things I was doing to freshen the space.  Last year we studied the Medieval period and the Age of Exploration always feels like a let down to me.  Jimmy is joining the crew this year and teaching a child to read is one of the most time-consuming teaching tasks there is.  We needed to be ready and inspired.  That's a lot of work in prepping the classroom and the curriculum.  I thought about going into all of it, but it's too much for one post, so hardware now, software later.  This will give me the opportunity to have tested the software for more than two days anyway.

These are Jimmy's shelves.  He's four, so technically he's in preschool.  I'm doing Kindergarten curriculum because he is so darn ready in every way but motor skills.  Motor skills I can work around, but working on kindergarten work with a 4-year old means remembering his attention span is a bit shorter, so you have to have wiggle time of all kinds and sorts.  Lucky him he's the last of six, and I've learned some tricks.  A nice display of a reasonable amount of toys is always good for this age. They can decide what they want quickly and clean it up quickly--on good days. Coloring pages and educational computer games or apps are great too.  Never count out participating in the fun subjects like science and history.  Jimmy took his turn rolling the balls down the ramps with everybody else.

We are off on our voyage.  Oriental Trading Co. offered this wallpaper for 32 bucks.  It has set the mood.  Every chance they get my kids are grabbing a bean bag and taking off in their imagination.  The bean bags were from Wal-Mart and are great bang for the buck.  This kind of grand gesture lets my kids know that we love them and really care about their school work and making it fun. In this case it didn't cost that much either.

  This is my desk where I work with the kids either individually or in small groups.  It's just right for the job.  The new set of drawers is streamlining classroom communication and grading.  Each child has two drawers in their favorite colors.  The top one is for picking up materials I want them to use.  The bottom one is for turning in the work they've completed.  The last two are for me to store photocopies, worksheets, etc.  On the white desk I also put out four manipulative bins that are mostly geared toward Jim but do attract the interest of the others.

The bins are the kid's lockers.  I have files in them in their favorite colors, one for each subject.  They also have their pencil cases and crayons, etc. in the front.  Wal-mart had great clipboards with a storage space.  It's not the same as my blue thing, but close enough.  Years of watching Mom haul one around has them pre-sold on using theirs.  We watch videos from The Teaching Company, so a video corner is a necessity.  Okay, Okay, I'll admit the blue bin under the white desk houses vintage Nintendo games, but it's only for the weekend, really.  The table we picked up at a school auction and those mid-century modern designs just keep on going.

The rocking chair is the first piece of furniture I bought for myself.  Since I was still single I was a very focused young woman.  The shelves behind the chair have our second set of The Great Books--you can't have just one--and a selection of fun books.  I've since added bins of toys for older kids, and the upper shelves are for art materials.  The three exercise balls are my new way of helping my wigglers stay on track.  They can sit on a ball instead of a chair as long as they keep working.  Hasn't worked yet, but Pete keeps trying.

I love teaching my kids and I'm just about over the hump.  All those years of trying to manage an infant or toddler while trying to meaningfully engage with my older children has left me extra capacity for this second half.  It's going to be a great year, and I haven't even talked curriculum yet.

Desk Love

I keep trying to create a working office, and until now they've at best partially succeeded.  I needed to separate homeschooling from my other work, and that meant learning to value my other work.  After a lot of soul searching I decided I needed an adult desk where I could get things done, problem was, we had no budget.  Lucky for me, my parents have a furniture surplus at the moment and their giant pain was my giant gift.  It fits so perfectly upstairs in our bedroom that a quarter of an inch would have meant it would have had to wander the house like my other desk options.  Instead it is nestled in-between two well-stocked bookcases.  The chair was on clearance at Sam's Club and just allows me enough room to get to bed.

The desk top is huge!  I can park a filing tray and my blue thing on the left.  My backpack now has designated parking on the right.  The back has a tool caddy, a lamp and miscellaneous useful knick-knacks, especially the first owl in my new collection. 

Perfect fit is almost a theme.  I found these organizers for my pencil drawer at Staples and they are literally perfect, not a wasted centimeter.  The top right side drawer has materials for my primary project--Harriet, a.k.a. my novel.  The bottom right side drawer has storage for large materials, a filing box and two shoe boxes of useful items.

On the left, I've started with supplies in the top drawer.  My second drawer holds materials for my secondary project--A Rule of Life, a homeschool co-op class on medieval monasticism.  The bottom drawer has my stationary.

Behind the black out curtains, we have a deep window sill, perfect for these large filing boxes.  I don't have that much filing--yet.

 These were another Sam's Club find.  I'll still resort to my giant white board in the basement, but I think this is going to be a great place to do the detail work on Harriet, the characters and the world.  I hope to incorporate 3x5 cards on the bulletin board.  If it turns out I need more of one or the other I can flip the boards and change the configuration.

Sometimes the material world is quite useful to the spiritual, at least I hope that will be so.  Everything is perfect at the moment.

 

Ten or Eleven Reasons

Love It or List It is one of those TV shows that we all watch together.  The premise is that a family is no longer happy in their home and a designer competes with a realtor to see who can make them happy again.  Both experts are given a list of must haves and a budget.  Like everybody my life has its moments when I'm not sure whether I love it or whether I want to list it.  I think I've made up my mind to love it, and here's why.

My kids--The ultimate reason for breathing is to see what they'll do next.  I can't imagine my life without that dramatic tension.

Kurt--We took all this on together and we work through it together.  I couldn't ask for a better partner.  Between us we are getting it done.

St. Mary's--I have a standing date with Jesus Christ every Saturday night.  After all those revivals and worship services where we begged Jesus to show, it's nice to know he's guaranteed.

Harriet--I've produced a viable outline of my novel, now it's time to flesh it out and cut it up.  It's a reason to keep breathing when the kids have gone.

Homeschooling--This is going to be the best year ever!  I've got everything figured out and lots of great stuff planned.  Last year was great, but I think this year might be even better.

My Desk--Maybe it's silly, but I needed a desk.  My childhood desk was damaged.  My substitutes were too small, or lacked storage or whatever.  I needed a place to do my non-homeschool work.  My parent's are moving in with my sister.  They don't have room for all their furniture, so they were happy to give me a huge oak desk with excellent storage.  It's in my bedroom and changing my life.

Exercise--I enjoy exercise, but it's been difficult to figure out the where and how.  My recent diet adventures have pushed me back to the treadmill, but this time we've put a TV in there.  I can watch Teaching Company lectures while I jog.  Perfect combination for me.

My larger family--I only have one sister, a scarcity I feel so keenly that I gave my kids lots of siblings.  Every year that goes by my original family becomes more precious.  I want to hold everyone close while I can.

Medieval Monasticism Class--I'm teaching this for our Homeschooling Co-op.  I've learned so much and had so much fun imagining games and activites for this fascinating subject.  It's a chance to keep my toe in the world of education a little.

Friends--Facebook keeps me up on the news I care the most about--how my friends are doing.  It's so nice to keep up with those friends I'm separated from as well as making time for the friends who are here now.

Maturity--Most people would consider this a mixed bag, and some would say I'm a long way from achieving it.  All I know is that the knowledge that I'll accomplish more by slowing down and focusing on now, doing my best to be present in this moment, is far more valuable than all the tony perts of youth.

So, I'm loving it, and plan to continue doing so for a long time to come.

Fan

The University of Michigan's Fan Day has a way of restoring my faith in humanity.  To see so many people taking such great pleasure in things like meeting football players and talking to cheerleaders; throwing your own touchdown or kicking field goals; or in my case taking off my sandals so I could feel the soft, bouncy astro-turf between my toes.  Michigan's stadium is the third largest in the world and you see that on TV, but you don't really feel it until you're there.  Likewise Michigan is one of the world's great universities, but you don't see it until you are there.  The campus is beautiful, even the North Campus where my engineering husband's, favorite memories are.  He looks at a parking lot, remembering picking up a car and relocating it with his friends.  I look at the quaint houses and think, someday, when the kids are gone...

Pax Potato

There came a morning when I woke up, stepped on the scale and decided it was time to do something about that.  Like everything else there was an app for that, and I found the Livestrong Calorie Counter to be very effective and lost a nice chunk of weight.  As long as I could eat what I like, just less and less often, I coped with dieting very well.  Then I went in to see Doc and he said I really ought to be on the Low Glycemic Index Diet.
There is an app for that too.  The GI diet app helps me track the Glycemic load of all the food I eat.  It allowed me multigrain bread, sourdough bread, and reasonable quantities of pasta.  I can do that.  It's not my favorite having been raised on starch because it is tasty and affordable.  The real struggle didn't kick in until I decided to widen my research and read some books from the library.  The current book forbids potatoes, rice and bread--period.  I'm not sure I can do that.  My Irish grandfather could do things with potatoes that would make you cry.  The bowl they were served in is a hallowed family artifact. Give my mother a pound of hamburger and rice, and you'll have a feast in 30 minutes.  Bread, don't get me started on bread.  We would tease my grandmother and great-grandmother into bread wars, each trying to top the other and succeeding.  It meant fresh hot bread every day for weeks.
I feel like a snob foregoing these basic calories.  I realize it's because my doctor said so, and he's a pretty smart guy. but I can still remember the look on my soon-to-be-ex best friend's face when I failed to understand the part that Ramen noodles played in her diet.  The stupidest thing I ever saw on TV and anyone who has watched TV knows that a pretty serious insult was when Jamie Oliver tried to gross out Appalachian kids with food.  No one thought to hire a guide to local culture?  Don't get me wrong, Jamie is a pleasure to watch cook, naked or clothed, and he meant well, but  when your family has at least one living memory of hunger, you eat anything you're offered and you're trained to.  His "whazzed" up chicken nasties turned into chicken nuggets were just calories and you don't say no to calories.
I guess somehow I have to figure this out.

Running Hot

Day before yesterday it rained packages at our house.  After months of thinking, my curriculum plans were made and thanks to Rainbow Resource and Amazon they are largely fulfilled.  This coincided with the discovery of a teacher planning app that felt more natural to me than my previous planner.  It's a bit touchy, and has wiped out as much as three days of plans, but it's more open, simple style lets me record only what I need as I want.
Most of the booty was stored in the Locked Door Room (see previous post) to wait as a surprise for the school year, but the teacher books went to my newly cleaned classroom desk.  I drafted a schedule and then it began.  Planning, planning, planning.  Now that I had a schedule and the resources necessary to make decisions about what to do when all I had to do was start putting all those puzzle pieces together.  First a subject, then a full day, then a week and then...to save the world!  Once I've planned a month, no, a trimester, no, the whole year, then I can do auxiliary things like make all the photocopies and organize supplies.
And then I couldn't sleep.  It's all good, but it's too much.  Today I spent hiding from my planner and curriculum guides and the copier.  I had to do summer school, but that's different.  We went to the library.  I almost stayed out of the shelves about next year's time period, but our third wanted to know about William Penn.  Kurt brought home pizza and we watched Real Steel (great movie for MI and engineers).  My desk is calling and all my stuff awaits, but I'm hiding in Kurt's office writing up a post.
Tomorrow I'll devote to physical preparations for next year and going through my to do list before another school year burns me up.

Ice Fishing in July

I keep thinking about shutting down this blog. Almost nobody reads it, and I have so much else to do. However, it still serves it's purpose which is to help me overcome my fear of being read.  In my world growing up if you said the wrong thing, that was it, you were out, and your little dog too.  I say all kinds of things, and still almost nobody reads it.  The reassuring monotony is valuable to me.  
Perhaps someday I'll relaunch with flashy items and a site redesign, but for now it's enough to say whatever's on my mind and watch the daily visits climb to ten.  Keeps the well open.

grown up honeymoon

A few weeks before my marriage my father asked me how I felt about it, and I said, "ask me again in three years."  It wasn't because I wasn't in love, new is simply not my favorite feature for anything, much less for something as critical as marriage.  So in spite of five and a half years of on again, off again dating and seven and a half years of generally being on my radar, I still needed time to feel comfortable qualifying my marriage.  It's been eighteen years, and I can give it an unqualified excellent.  Like everybody we've had challenges both those that we signed up for and those that we didn't.  We aren't perfect, but we don't ever give up.  Our strength comes from being able to take turns carrying the burdens and maximizing each others gifts and character.
I guess it is a measure of our closeness that I started out writing a puff piece about a recent honeymoon trip, but I can't stay away from talking about my joy in the marriage, forget the hotels and meals and sightseeing.  Atlanta is awesome, but the falling in love I did there, I did with Kurt.

marriage

havepenis
fore ever
allowed

...starts to come together

I enter my second year of the forties this year, and I have to say I'm liking the forties.  All those things I daydreamed about having in the future when I was a teen, and then labored (in six cases literally) to make real in my twenties and thirties are real.  My handsome husband comes home from work and kisses me hello.  Six kids have completely overrun this house, just the way I imagined they would.  The must haves are had.
That's really great, but I'd be struggling if the forties weren't also a pivot point--a moment of transferred momentum.  Somewhere I came across a study that said a woman's career doesn't really take off until her forties, so I decided to strike while the eggs were fresh and make a family, trusting that when it was time to refocus on my career I'd be choosing a strong starting point.  This decade is not just about saying goodbye to my wonderful kids, it's also about becoming a published writer.   I have a lot to do, and I'm excited about it.
Happy Birthday to me!  I love it.

Mostly Muslim Movies

My parents were teachers in a small Christian school when I was growing up.  They signed a contract foregoing movies and they stuck to it. The same church that sponsored the school was struggling to work all this out.  I remember being properly shocked when my Sunday School teacher used ET for an illustration.  VHS put an end to all pretense.  Movies were back in swing just in time for my adolescence and I've found it a delicious naughty pleasure ever since.
But now I've gone a step further--ahh, the slippery slope.
I've gone Muslim--mostly.
I'm finding the films of our counterpoint interesting.  They make new all those old problems of life by dressing it up in what is for me a costume.  It is a pleasure to learn and grow.

Sabah is about a woman trying to work out a life between her family's traditionalism and her own need to explore.  There's a sweet love story.  It's sort of  Jane Austen in a hijab.

Arranged follows the lives of two young women, one Orthodox Jew and one traditional Muslim as they go through their respective processes of finding a husband.  I love the way they support each other, and the best moment in the movie when the Muslim is mistaken for a Sephardic Jew.

Salmon Fishing in Yemen  delighted me with a Muslim Jesus.  It was unexpected in this oddball love story.  The movie is truly beautiful both in how it was filmed and the literary frame it works in.

Children of Heaven has been mentioned before, but if you have children this film is an excellent introduction to Muslim Culture.  A boy loses his sister's shoes.  His family is too poor to pay for new, so the two share his shoes.  Charming heartbreak all around.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is mostly set in India rather than being Indian--Muslim or Hindu, but it's interesting.  All that thinking about death, which is also thinking about life.  The choices and opportunities near the end of life.  Death seems to walk in a veil until we are wearing it.  Sometimes it's good to give it a think.

Pilgrimage of Desire

I had the privilege of meeting Alison Gresik at the Festival of Faith and Writing.  I was immediately intrigued by her perspective and by her work.  I'm still interested, which is, I think, one of the best things you can say about someone.  Alison's current project is publishing a memoir through Indiegogo.  Indiegogo is interesting all on it's own, but when you add to that the story of a family recovering from depression by selling their home and using the money to travel the world it becomes irresistable.  Throw into the mix two charming children. and you have movie popcorn with chocolate chips sprinkled in.  To take a look or to support her efforts visit this link--http://www.indiegogo.com/Pilgrimage-of-Desire

lose ends

Sin the Sizer grapples with ablest life 
Gilt with silver 
A long way drown

That New Baby Feeling

I have been blessed with six children.  Each one still brings me great joy, but there is something about those sleepless early bits when you are trying everything you've ever heard and relying on everyone you've ever known that are particularly special.  So I was tickled to discover you can get that new baby feeling over a turtle.  Our second found a hatchling turtle wandering the road.  Our oldest decided to bring her home.  The rest of us decided to keep her.  There's so much to learn about our girl, and we are so excited.  I'm out of diapers, but into an aquarium filter.  Sounds like a good swap to me.

If you can't get enough at the grocery store

When I was young, UPCs were a novelty, and watching the cashier scan the groceries evoked scanner envy.  Then came the self-checkout, and my joy overflowed.  Now you can bring that joy home--with The Home Library App.  Just wave the camera over the UPC on the back of most books and seconds later you have a detailed record of your book.  For older books, you can do a keyword search, for really old books you can enter it manually.  So far I've scanned about 1/2 of our books, I think, and we have 1, 021 titles and the replacement value is 20,000.
I'm enjoying reconnecting with books I haven't seen in a while.  My library is one of my favorite ways of connecting with people.  Pulling the perfect book off the shelf never gets old, and most of my books get returned--though it's been a while since I've seen A Good Man is Hard to Find.
Great app!  Good clean fun.

Optimization

It starts the minute I walk through the foyer opening into the kitchen.  Left or Right?  Left usually.  I snag a 100% Whole Wheat English Muffin from the pantry rack and take a short step to the kitchen table where I grab a knife, a fork and a spoon.  Next comes a diagonal walk across the kitchen to the corner between the dishwasher and the stove.  I pull open the cupboard above the dishwasher and retrieve a small plate and a cup.  The silverware goes on the plate.  The cup stands by on the counter while I use the fork to split the muffin and pop it into the toaster oven.  I fill the hot pot with water and turn it on and then hop the cup over the stove to rest on another counter while I pull down my vitamins.  Currently, I am taking them in order of size and dumping them all out before taking them.  The vitamins go back to the cupboard, and I take two small steps to the fridge when I pull out the milk and the Smart Balance.  (I hate eating foods that require capitalization.)  The milk sits down next to the cup and them Smart Balance goes over to the toaster oven to await my muffin.  I pour 8 oz of milk, take the pills, and replace vitamins and milk in their respective homes.  The toaster has dinged by now, but I still need to visit the tea cupboard next to the fridge.  I pull down my giant mug and fill it with one PG Tips tea bag and the contents of four Splenda packets whose wrappers are trucked diagonally across the room to the trash.  I bring the mug back to the hot pot where I slide in the spoon.  The water can wait, but my muffin is getting cold.  I pull it out and place it on the small plate then butter it with thin curls of Smart Balance.  The water has generally boiled by now, so I pull out the spoon and let the water pummel the tea bag.  As soon as the water is dark enough I dump the tea bag in the trash, pick up the plate with the muffin and go sit quietly somewhere enjoying the last few minutes before I have to get to work.
 Right now that's as good as it gets.  It'll get better.  Managing cooking times is a bit wonky, and I want to reduce the number of times I leave the corner to do something else.  Optimizing things that I do frequently is one of my favorite games to play.  Breakfast is an especial favorite because there are so many variables.  I am also working on the best strategy for showering, settling into Barnes and Noble for writing time, getting through my workout, how best to put on and take off my backpack at different locations, and getting laundry smoothed out--amongst other things.  I used to worry that I was going to get stuck in a routine, but all these plans are about as permanent as a sand castle.  Take the English Muffins for example.  I love them, but Sam's has started to sell them in two packs totaling 18 instead of the 12 I prefer.  I may have to choose a new breakfast item which changes everything.  I think that might be part of the fun of it.

Those Cute Afghani Hats

When the war in Afghanistan began I had read maybe three articles about that country in Reader's Digest and U.S. News and World Report.  I may also have realized that that gorgeous girl, whose photo National Geographic kept trotting out, was from there.  Know thy enemy may be one reason that attempts at enriching our national understanding of the culture of Afghanistan have slowed down now that we are in the slog of war.  It is hard to think of such simple people giving us such trouble--but isn't that what I learned about Afghanistan from those three articles and a picture?  We were so proud of the way they fought the Russians and now we are the Russians.
I'd rather think about the pictures that we saw at the beginning--the poppy fields, the smiling girls, the tribal leaders.  I wish I knew more about the whys and wherefores of all the things that puzzle me.    I want to know if I'd offend Afghan men by wearing their Pakol hat.  Is it wrong to just grab a hat and go?
Life is a full time job.

Personal History

Somewhere Out There

Dating

Volare

Engagement

You're Still the One

7 years in

Cinema

Yesterday

Embryonic Rights

It's time for new language and a new strategy in the fight for life.  We've danced with our Pro-Choice partner so long the fight has fallen into a soporific waltz and both partners risk falling off a cliff into nothingness. It is time to pay attention to the most dramatic player on the scene--the embryo itself.  It's only defense is its mother, and even that is limited if that mother is in China.  Embryonic stem cell research is hailed from so many quarters without any secondary echo of concern for the costs such possible cures may require.
I'm Pro-Life for a lot of reasons, but the biggest one is human nature.  I don't trust us with the right to treat any human being as expendable.   Throughout history any attempt to draw a line and say that this is not a human being ends in in abuse, and the line itself keeps moving.  If we're blessed it moves to a more generous position, if not, more and more human beings will find themselves oppressed/at risk of death.  By saying the second that slippery little sperm slides in, that baby is a human and worthy of human rights, we draw the line as wide as it can possibly be drawn, at the short end at least.  We draw the largest circle of safety around ourselves.
For these reasons I call for a new language that emphasizes human rights and seeks to reestablish the base line of humanity.

Fallen Woman

I saved myself for the Met.  While most opera lovers were growing up with season tickets well in hand, I was hiding in my closet listening to Met broadcasts on a radio that was also a stuffed dog (my uncle worked at Radio Shack.)  All those years of listening added up to some intense fantasies about seeing my first opera, so I waited for the best, for the Met.  OK, there was one terrible production of Die Fledermaus during college, but it was horrible and during college--that doesn't count, right?  But the years have gone by and kids kept happening and I'm not getting younger, I needed an alternative plan.  Local opera is surprisingly available, but how could Opera Grand Rapids compete with all those girlhood fantasies?
It couldn't.  I was just going to have to go for the virtual experience.  Fathom Events does live broadcasts of opera from the Met.  I have been talking about this since before we were married, so when I rolled over and asked Kurt if he wanted to go see La Traviata he was up and dressed before I'd closed my iPad.  We were in good company and the theater was full-the kind of full I expect for a Harry Potter film.  The Met was gorgeous and the broadcast was good.  Natalie Dessay sung her lungs out.  The set was perfect.  It was everything I'd hoped for.  The only sour note was the ticket price, but only because it was unexpected.
I will be going again.

My Life in Apps

I have made no secret of my love for my iPad.  I am not exaggerating when I say my life is changed because of this machine.  I don't know how I'd go back to life without it.  Here is a glimpse of my life as I live it now thanks to all those great apps.

Reminders--I had to have a place to dump all those tasks that need to be done, but not tomorrow.  I may never get the piano tuned, but I'll think about it every time I open this app.
 iPlan Lessons-  teachers book for homeschoolers.
Pepper Plate--favorite recipes, menu plans and instant shopping lists
Pages--holds most of my novel, my poetry, a class on medieval monasticism for co-op and other stuff I want to hang on to.
Storyist--As soon as I finish typing my first draft up, I'll be breaking this program out to play with the next draft.
Meta Notebook--where I stash my notes on the books I'm reading.
ChorePad--keep track of chores and allowance
Cash Flow--keeping track of kids money from work and gifts
Nature Sounds--takes me home quick with my own brew of sounds.  The loon could be better.
Pocket Yoga--best way to learn yoga I've found
Livestrong Calorie Counter--make a difference for me.  I love to fill out charts and these charts put me on the right path.
My Food--it's pretty and it makes me think about what I'm eating.
Notes--I have sixteen.  They range from medical procedures to poems in process to addresses.  I dump everything here.
Divine Office--fills the day with scripture, songs and prayers
iMissal--up-to-date with the latest changes.  Just figured that out.
Prayers--lots of prayers including rosaries.  Great way to fill empty time.
Prayer Journal--more Protestant way of recording what you're praying for and how often.
MeaCulpa--so helpful to the convert.  You work through scrutinies and the results are packaged neatly with all the prayers and such for Reconcilliation.
Facebook--The news I really care about.  "Go, Ian!  Eat those crackers!"
Sam's Club--shopping list and evalues in a fun setting.
ABC News--what else is going on in the world
Magical Weather--charming
Flixster--if you love movies as much as I do this is a must.
Terra Nova--Please don't let it be dead.
ABC Player--when I need a little down time.
Presidents vs. Aliens--too much fun.

The only thing I can't do easily--work on my blog.  Ironic.
That's it.  My life on an iPad.