Gold

There is something about an old friend that can't ever be replaced. I went home two kids ago for a school reunion and found that I felt more connected with people who'd been rivals than I did to those who'd been my friends--depending on the length of time I'd known them. Evidently I'm the kind who prefers old enemies to new friends. This makes all the moving around I've done lonely.
The big thrill though, is seeing old friends in a new context. Recently God blessed me with two separate visits from friends Kurt and I used to double date with. Heather Rager Bowman was the valedictorian and I was the salutatorian of our class in highschool. She married a technical guy and they have six kids too. It was such fun to fill the house with our offspring, and to catch up on life. I was hoping she'd be moving here, but the Lord has other plans.
Scott Bashoor and his bride Heidi were here just last Friday. We hadn't been able to attend the California wedding, so it was my first chance to meet Heidi. She was worth the wait. I haven't had that much fun in a while. They are expecting their first baby six months from now. Scott was one of our groomsmen, so it was fun to pull out our newly acquired wedding photos for Heidi. Scott hasn't changed a bit--except for the mustache. :)

15 Years and Counting

I love celebrating special occasions, but usually I'm the one doing the planning. This year was a major anniversary, so Kurt had done some planning of his own. He set the tone when he bought me a new wedding band. He tricked me into revealing which one I really liked and then he bought it. I didn't know how to keep up with that, so I found the photographer from our wedding, even though he'd gone out of business. I bought all the negatives and proofs. If the local photo place hurries up, I'll have some special pictures for Kurt's desks both here and at work. Kurt's birthday was our next holiday and I took him to the hot tub place. We hadn't been before--it was great.
Kurt's mom agreed to watch the kids for the weekend. The Amway Grand Plaza is as wonderful as everyone says it is. We felt so completely at home. Friday, we went ethnic eating at El Burrito Loco and Sami's Gyro. Everything was good. The Proposal was a fun film, but never really hit the sweet spot. We thought we'd watch an outdoor concert at Rosa Park's Circle, but a light drizzle turned into a downpour and running for it was our only option. Getting a manicure to show off my new ring had been the one important thing I hadn't been able to squeeze into my preparations. Since we had nothing better to do, Kurt sat with me as I got a full mani/pedi. Chocolate covered strawberries and sparkling juice were waiting in our room. Saturday, we slept in, then room service brought us a delicious breakfast. We hurried over to the Cathedral of St. Andrew to attend the midday mass. I'd never been to the cathedral, so I asked the priest to let us look around. We had to hurry because of a wedding--how perfect--but the cathedral is absolutely beautiful. As an artist I find so much support in the Catholic tradition. Our next stop was the Grand Rapids Art Museum. Our last visit was during our engagement. The collection was rather limited then, so we hadn't been back. This visit we were pleased to find the collection much improved and the new building is nice as well. They had great gifts for the kids, and then I needed to sit. I wanted to look cute on this mini-honeymoon and cute hurts. Kurt said to eat light, so we snagged a hot dog and some water for lunch. After a rest stop at the hotel, we went to Kurt's surprise destination--Charley's Crab. We'd last visited them on our fifth anniversary and it was the perfect moment to return. I had their excellent bouillabaisse with saffron. It was delicious and a little messy, but nothing a girl from Maryland couldn't handle. The rest of the evening we spent in the hotel's hot tub with a bunch of sisters from a family of eight. I had a lot of fun exploring their memories of growing up. Kurt alternated soaking with me and swimming laps in the adjacent pool. Our return to our room found more chocolate covered strawberries and sparkling juice and we were lucky to catch The Pursuit of Happyness on cable. Sunday we slept in, again, enjoyed room service, again, and finally prepared to return to home and the kids. A few ordinary errands had to be run, and then we were back to pick up the threads of our daily lives.
It was all just right, one of those rare moments when I wouldn't change a thing.

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

The British Museum is magnificent. The treasures it contains are enough to make even newlyweds catch their breath and think of something other than themselves for a minute. One of my favorite things were the giant Assyrian sculptures. For a person who knew the Bible, particularly the prophetic bits, inside and out it was like stepping into the past. The experience took my breath away. I only wish I'd had the guts to touch it. I love museums, and after a while they take on a rhythm that includes a tour of some piece or other of all the major civilizations. I just took this for granted, because I love history and I don't expect I'll ever be able to travel to all those places to see things for myself.
Then I watched Rick Steve's Iran. He went to the major museum in Tehran and the collection of antiquities from the home of one of the greatest ancient civilizations is filled with little pots and small artifacts. Why don't they have any great displays like the British Museum? All that stuff is at the British Museum and other important museums around the world. The visit to Persepolis made me feel a little better, but not much. What have we done stripping struggling communities of their heritage?
Isn't it time for antiquities to be returned to the places of origin? Ok, so that's an idea before it's time, but we should at least begin thinking and talking about it. Someday the global community will think of itself in neighborly terms. Hopefully the oil crisis will have pushed us to discover better and cheaper modes of transportation that will allow more people to travel and thus make seeing items in their native habitat an attractive idea. Perhaps returning that borrowed sculpture will finally make enough of an impact on our conscience. Maybe it will also help us to appreciate our own native cultures and their part in our history. It's just a thought.

To Watch or Not To Watch

I enjoy 18 Kids and Counting. I understand the passion for family that drives them and it's a great relief to me that there is a family in the world so much larger than mine. I also knew so many people in the same kind of mindset growing up. They are a bit right of where I grew up, but we had friends all over the spectrum. One summer we traveled the mid-west with a Christian acting troupe that had ties to Bob Jones University. I wore skirts for everything that summer and all the older ladies dressed just the way the Duggers do. It's fun to be reminded of the quirks and the genuine warmth of fundamentalism.
I have my favorite Dugger. I will not be revealing her, but sometimes when she's on screen you can almost watch her thinking. I wonder what she thinks about. She's always quick to express the appropriate fundamentalist thought, and I wouldn't expect anything else. If you genuinely believe that your behavior and beliefs can save someone from eternal damnation what kind of a jerk do you have to be not to uphold your truth at all times. "Of course I am happy." "Of course this is how we live our lives." "Of course this is better than that." But what if she's wondering? what if she's looking at other options? Am I doing the right thing by participating in the pressure that keeps her smiling and agreeing?
Not that you need a camera in your face to keep nodding and smiling. For me it was enough to go to church and church school. I kept withdrawing step by step until I finally found a place quiet enough to let me think and decide for myself. I want that piece of mind for my favorite Dugger, even if she stays fundamentalist all her life. Children shouldn't be subject to this kind of scrutiny. Just look at Jon and Kate plus Eight.