I'm Sorry, Mom.

Two weeks ago my youngest son had to be hauled out of mass during the Eucharist by his Protestant sister.  As she made her way to the door, he shouted, " I'm sorry, Mom!" over and over. Most of us repent when we're about to face the music, and most of that doesn't stick.

Today, my son, without prompting, packed a bag of goodies to keep him happy and busy during Mass. When he forgot it, he was distraught, but decided he could try with just a squishy worm toy. He had a few hiccups, but mostly he did all right. I explained and reminded. He listened and made corrections.

I didn't expect him to have such a big change of heart and a willingness to work at doing it differently. What a great example he's setting for me.

Cheery

I spent today looking through a bunch of home listings, and I have to say it cheered me up. I love our house now, but I discovered if we get really crazy we can have it built again, only with the laundry separate from the powder room and more storage in the kitchen. There are a lot of options each rich with possibilities. Kurt kept telling me this, but it takes me a while to shift gears.

For me, an inspiring object helps. I bought this bird a week or two ago. Something about it spoke to my hopes about our move, and I have a feeling it will be right at home in our new place. She'll help me remember to live, love, laugh and be happy.

I can see the light in the future a little more clearly.

I knew it.

Growing up fundamentalist has been fascinating me lately. In some ways, I've been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, but that's not the same as understanding it. I've been watching lots of shows about fundamentalist Mormons, and the Amish, the Duggars, and anything else from any religion that strikes the same chords. My sister posted a little news on Facebook that brought all this research back to my home front. Bill Gothard has resigned from his Institute on Basic Youth Conflicts because of bad behavior with at least thirty-six of the many teenage girls that he recruited to work at his headquarters.

We had our share of Bill Gothard stuff around our house. I can't remember if my parents went to his Basic Seminar or not. His idea about the umbrella of protection made my mother miserable for years, turns out that was just a way to make the girls more compliant. He wasn't a second god for us, just a guy with strong ideas and a huge following. As I got older he seemed strange to me. His behavior didn't meet the standards healthy men had set for themselves. Everyone said it couldn't be true of such a well-known teacher, but it just had to be. It is.

When I was a kid I loved the moment in the story where the wicked witch was defeated and all the evil is overturned. Finding out I was right about Bill Gothard restored my faith in my radar. It brought men back into the realm of the knowable.

Going Blue

We are moving to Ann Arbor, Michigan. Kurt needed a better work opportunity, and he found it in a city we've often talked about for retirement. We'll have The Big House, and the University of Michigan for entertainment and enlightenment.  There are great schools for the kids, and the possibility of graduate school for the adults. All my research says that this is going to be a great experience, so why are we so sad?

Mea doesn't want us to crowd into her big adventure. No one wants to leave friends. We've put down deep roots here in Spring Lake. This has been a place of shelter and help. It is irreplaceable, especially all the people. 

And Just Like That...

A Taste of Redwall is over. I still have notes to write, a summary to create, and ideas for the next time to capture, but this event is over. I learned so much.

1. Walk straight through your fears. I put this project off because I was afraid it would be rejected. Morning after morning, I woke up sure it was failing. Phone call after phone call, I had to remember a no added up to nothing, but a yes changes everything. There were moments all along the way where quitting was a reasonable option. I'm so glad I persisted. It was worth every negative feeling.

2. Actively listen to others. I've always appreciated input, but in the past I was so afraid of being run over that I could be very hard-nosed about my vision. This time I had the best supervisors in Ann English and Mary Casselman. Their ideas were always helpful, and they truly appreciated what I was doing. It was easy to share with them. Karen Morgan was also instrumental in ramping up the fun factor. She was patiently persistent about activities I was unfamiliar with. She taught me a lot of new tricks.

3. Keep everybody in the loop. Sometimes I got so busy with drama in one aspect that I forgot that leaders in the other aspects needed to know what was going on in order to feel useful and appreciated. I don't think I'll make that mistake again.

4. Have fun! I did not meet my goals. In the past this meant an emotional storm that overshadowed everything. This time I decided to roll with it. The desserts were delicious and we had a good time. 

5. Remember, it's not your party. This was the first time I could let go of my successes and recognize that they came from God. They were not mine so I had no reason to boast. It's a nice change for me.